Landslide

I’ve had something happen today that is cause a sort of crisis of faith.

Without a religion you might wonder what this faith is.

I’m afraid the crisis is faith is my faith in me.

I had a disappointment in a job I applied for. Really it wasn’t a great job. It was just better than I had ever had. And the letter came form someone I knew from my days at MassArt and the humiliation was complete. Failure crashed around me in waves and suddenly I was drowning.

I’ve always been a drift without a plan, without a map, without that visualization of what to do. I still don’t have that.

As believer that pop culture holds the wisdom of the ages… I think Stevie Nicks had it right with her own landslide.

Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

It just hit me hard.

So it’s like they say in improv. I’ve got to commit. I’ve got to fully commit and believe in my character, in this case me. There’s no room for hesitation. There is no room for doubt. The audience will knowif there is.

Improv too has cause a ripple in my faith. It started as easy, I was confident, but now I doubt. I struggle. I’m afraid. But I think this, I can get over.

I just have to remember to commit, go slower, give my partner a name, know something about my character and explore, if this is true what else it true. If I can remember this I’m golden. If I can apply this to my life? I’ll make it.