I'm not in love you but... I like you an awful lot.

Do you ever have those moments of connection with celebrities? You know the ones. Where you suddenly have that little thing in common and while you may have been fond of them before this opens up a world of possibles. When they reference something and you think... they may be all right after all.

Maybe you already liked them... like when I realised Wes Anderson and I share a birthday. Or how Joss Whedon watched Veronica Mars. Or when Patrick Rothfuss is not only wearing a Serenity shirt, but signed his post Later Space Cowboys.

Right enough Patrick Rothfuss.

Even I'm getting sick of me talking about Patrick Rothfuss.
Hadley would appreciate it.

How do I feel today?

It has been such a cold wet and rainy June… I think this image pretty much sums up my state of mind. I also threw it up on my cafe press site, just for kicks.

Larger than life...

This was for IF. The word is drifting.


A while back it hit me. That thing they always tell you about your artistic style. That you don’t need to find it. That it’s already there. So don’t go looking for it. Just keep practicing and it comes. It’s true, they’re dead on, and most of the time someone else sees it before you do. And that’s okay too.

I’ve never been overly fond of my drawing style. It’s just way the I draw, I don’t really have much choice over it. Yeah there are techniques you can learn but there is an underlying footprint that is your stlye. I nicknamed mine “stumpy”.
We could use the same pencils and paper but compared to some of my friends and their overly talented sisters my work looks like it was made with broken crayons by an animal in spasm, possibly missing thumbs.

But it’s okay. Because I’m starting to really see my style. And it may be a little stumpy but it’s mine and I like it.

Today I started drawing something and realized that I wanted it to be bigger than the paper I had. For a minute it seemed like it was just a small portion of an enormous drawing just waiting to come out. And I wish I had the time discipline and space to make this enormous drawing. But maybe it will come together piece by piece. I see a wall in my mind with 30 or 40 pieces of paper taped together.

I’ve always worked smaller than I thought I should. I think everyone has a natural size that they draw or paint or whatever. It’s convenient to work small, it’s portable, its less expensive but something inside of me has always known I’m supposed to work larger than I do. I drew this pretty large. It started on a 11 by 17 page but I ran out of room and the parasol was on a another page. I shrunk it down to color it on my computer and to post it. But it was fun to work a little larger on a single image. And it doesn’t look all that stumpy.

Things unfold...

I had my Improv Grad show last night and the night before, but this is not an illustration of that event. Thsi is my IF entry for UNFOLD.

I get the feeling that the girls on the edges might have mixed up their paper chains.

The girl in the pig tails looks a little like me.

So back to improv. We had our shows and we did well. I would have liked to have done better.

The one thing I was proud of was my role as the monologist on Monday. Which was a mix of terror, exhileration, and giddy euphoria or simply put it was thrilling.

I don't know what to do next in Improv. I made it through the 5 levels of the classes and I just don't know what comes next. I love improv and I want to do something with this.

A little late to the party...

So I missed an illustration Friday deadline, and I'm a little miffed with myself.

But better late than never.

The word was CRAVE, you can see it over at my IF Blog too.

Why two blogs I don't know. But I've made a third blog, this one is for my sister's wedding.

I made this Save the Date for the happy couple too!

Dad's Birthday Letter...

Dear Dad,
I can’t believe it’s that time of the year again. I never thought it would last. I never thought I would keep writing to you on your birthday. It surprises me a little every year. What is this, 13 years? It’s a long time. I miss you, I love you, I wish you were here.

First and foremost I have to tell that Beth is engaged to John Marshall. And we all love him even Chardie, especially Chardie. He was my coworker. I’m laid off now. He was my friend first, and he loves her. And I love them. Brian hasn’t met him yet but I know he’ll like him. We all do.
I did a portrait of you this year, in my new style.

I’m writing and drawing a comic book. It’s about dreams and where they come from. And I don’t know if it is any good or would ever be published or if it’s even something that will lead to something but I really want to complete it. I really feel like I need to. It’s slow going and I’m plagued with doubts. I don’t know how you wrote your novel. I can’t get through mapping out the story for 32 pages. I did however hit the ¼ mark the other day. So that’s something right?
I keep at hoping that this wisp of a dream pans out. But it’s something I need to do. I think you would respect that. And I think you’d like the story so far. I don’t want to go into on my blog though. This will go public when I’m ready.

As stalled as I sometimes feel on this project, it’s been nice focusing on the creative side of things again. I needed this break to recharge. I can breath again, I don’t panic when I want to draw something. Or sometimes I panic, but not as often or for as long. It’s easier. And my confidence is building in subtle ways that I don’t notice now but will later. It’s the way I draw casually again. When I have an idea, or want to express something vague in my head. Don’t laugh I know that’s how it’s supposed to be! But it’s not. I get drained.

It’ll be two years of yoga this summer! Twice a week. It’s still great, but man oh man my hips will never open! They just ache in and refuse to move in class, I have the hips of a 90 year old woman! It’s terrible. But I keep at it. I am hoping to be part of Nadia’s assessment class this winter. That would be an honor. We love Nadia, she’s in India right now, studying at the Iyengar institute. She’ll be there for a month, and then she’s adopting a baby and will miss the next two months. Which is pretty exciting. But we’ll miss her. Bec however (our Tuesday teacher) will still be there.

We had our first family vacation in years! For mom’s 60th birthday we all went to St. Johns. You would have loved it! It’s so beautiful there. Like paradise. With such beautiful turquoise water and a magical drink they call the lime and coconut. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? You put the lime in the coconut and shake it all up, with a nice virgin island rum! It’s brilliant. Of course Brian and I got into a vicious fight the last night but we patched things up the best way we could. This was not unlike the fight we go onto when he was home for Chris’s wedding. We get along fine on our own but you add another person and it’s shrapnel to the hand grenade. Let’s see how we do at Beth’s wedding ;) I’m just kidding, we always last until the after party.

Barack Obama is president now. He’s doing the best he can. The call this the great recession. It’s pretty bad though. I’m nervous being out of work and all but what can you do? There have been some scary and surreal moments. The other day Obama cam on the air to announce GM going bankrupt, and citing Chrysler’s recent bankruptcy and merging with Fiat (of all companies) as a shining example of hope for the future. It was very Atlas Shrugged. In fact right now everything is very Atlas Shrugged. Which surprisingly isn’t me nay saying Obama. Despite how it sounded, and he certainly didn’t expand on this, the Chrysler Fiat merge could be great. It would give Fiat a bigger foothold in the global market, as they compete with VW, and it could bring some of the fuel efficient Fiat line to America which will provide, us with cars we actually want to drive. So I see how it could work. But it’s still not a good sign. And he’s kept message of hope. Which as it turns out I’m fan of. It’s the fireside chat of the day. Hillary is Secretary of State, and you don’t hear as much about her.

I still dream about you. You still don’t talk in my dreams. Deadmen tell no tales. And I had a dream that I made a piece of art of you. I’m debating whether that will come to fruition or not. I mean it was a little weird and kind of in a way cross dressy as it was a drawing of you as the statue of liberty. I don’t know that that’s how you want to be remembered in life but… it tickles me a bit.

Times have changed Dad, cross dressing is a little more popular and accepted. I had a dream that a handsome man in was wearing a kilt. And I very much desired to uhm… talk to him in my dream. I real longing to talk to him. But alas he eluded me, mores the pity. Anyway, Hadley asked me if he had been wearing eyeliner. I hadn’t noticed in the dream, but In my head I thought, he is now! Because guys in eyeliner and shirts are apealing. Yeah I know, it’s the artist in me, thanks for sharing. Why is it that every time I write your letter I put something in to bother you. I guess it’s to show I haven’t lost my sense of humor.

And the movie recommendation is… Man on Wire. Because it renewed a sense of hope and belief in me. And despite my lack of organized religion, I think everyone wants something to believe in. Whether it’s a sports team, or a politician, or hitching your wagon to someone else’s dream… we all want to believe. It’s about the Frenchman who strung a wire between the twin towers, and walk across it early one morning. It was a classic heist movie, with a hare brain idea and some friends in on the game. But it’s a story told well, with charm and great music, and vision and I suppose some history.

I’m going to Dana’s wedding today. I did the invitations for her wedding, and soon I will do Beth’s invitations. I never thought she’s want a wedding, Beth, not Dana. I was excited that Dana was getting married on your birthday. I thought it was a good sign. It’s a good day.

I really wish you were here right now. I could really use your advice and your unrealistic confidence in me, and your unconditional love. I’m scared and sliding and failing again. And I just want a hug from you in particular. I love you, I miss you! Happy Birthday Dad.

Love,
Kate

A me me taken from Hadley.

I stole this from Hadley:

1) You can only answer yes or no to the following questions.
2) You are not allowed to elaborate unless someone asks you about something in your comments.

Been arrested? — No
Kissed someone you didn't like? — Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? — No
Fallen asleep at work/school? — Yes
Held a snake? — Yes
Ran a red light? — No
Been suspended from school? — No
Experienced love at first sight? — No
Totaled your car in an accident? — No
Been fired from a job? — Yes
Fired somebody? — Yes
Sung karaoke? — Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? — No
Did something you told yourself you wouldn't? — Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? — Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — Yes
Kissed in the rain? — Yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? — No
Saw someone die? — No
Played Spin-the-Bottle? — No
Smoked a cigar? — No
Sat on a rooftop? — Yes
Smuggled something into another country? — No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? — No
Broken a bone? — No
Skipped school? — YES
Eaten a bug? — Yes
Sleepwalked? — No
Walked on a moonlit beach? — Yes
Ridden a motorcycle? — No
Dumped someone? — Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? — Yes
Lied to avoid a ticket? — No
Ridden in a helicopter? — No
Shaved your head? — No
Blacked out from drinking? — Yes
Played a prank on someone? — Yes
Hit a home run? — No
Felt like killing someone? — Yes
Cross-dressed? — Yes
Been falling-down drunk? — Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? — Yes
Eaten snake? — No
Marched/Protested? — Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — No
Puked on an amusement ride? — No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — Yes
Been in a band? — No
Knitted? — No
Been on TV? — Yes
Shot a gun? — No
Skinny-dipped? — Yes
Given someone stitches? — No
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? — No
Ridden a surfboard? — No
Drunk straight from a liquor bottle? — Yes
Had surgery? — No
Streaked? — No
Been taken by ambulance to a hospital? — No
Tripped on mushrooms? — No
Passed out when NOT drinking? — Yes
Peed on a bush? — No
Donated Blood? — No
Grabbed electric fence? — No
Eaten alligator meat? — No
Eaten cheesecake? — Yes
Eaten your kids' Halloween sweets? — No
Killed an animal when not hunting? — No
Peed your pants in public? — Yes
Snuck into a movie without paying? – Yes
Written graffiti? — No
Still love someone you shouldn't? — No
Think about the future? — Yes
Been in handcuffs? — Yes
Believe in love? — No
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? — Yes

A little drunk on music...

I like it when music makes me feeling like I’m dreaming. Or when it makes feel drunk.

The other day I was looking for music from car commercials. I liked the songs from the Honda Insight ads. Especially “The Honey Tree” by Mostar Diving Car. But it was upon seeing that old Saturn Ion commercial that I fell in love again. It was the dreamy music that made me feel a little drunk, that nice drunk, when you don’t have a care and you’re in the moment and everything is a little slow and lovely for no good reason. That's how it made me feel.

It was The Walkmen’s “We’ve Been Had”.

I'm a modern guy
I don't care much for the go-go
or the retro image I see so often
telling me to keep trying
maybe you'll get here someday
keep up the work kid, okay
I close the book on them right there

I see myself change as the days change over
I hear the songs and the words don't change
I write them out of the book right there

we've been had, you say it's over
sometimes I'm just happy I'm older
we've been had, I know it's over
somehow it got easy to laugh out loud

see me age nineteen
with some dumb haircut from 1960
moving to New York
sitting here with my friends
we're all taking the same steps
seems foolish now