Dad's Birthday Letter...

Dear Dad,
I can’t believe it’s that time of the year again. I never thought it would last. I never thought I would keep writing to you on your birthday. It surprises me a little every year. What is this, 13 years? It’s a long time. I miss you, I love you, I wish you were here.

First and foremost I have to tell that Beth is engaged to John Marshall. And we all love him even Chardie, especially Chardie. He was my coworker. I’m laid off now. He was my friend first, and he loves her. And I love them. Brian hasn’t met him yet but I know he’ll like him. We all do.
I did a portrait of you this year, in my new style.

I’m writing and drawing a comic book. It’s about dreams and where they come from. And I don’t know if it is any good or would ever be published or if it’s even something that will lead to something but I really want to complete it. I really feel like I need to. It’s slow going and I’m plagued with doubts. I don’t know how you wrote your novel. I can’t get through mapping out the story for 32 pages. I did however hit the ¼ mark the other day. So that’s something right?
I keep at hoping that this wisp of a dream pans out. But it’s something I need to do. I think you would respect that. And I think you’d like the story so far. I don’t want to go into on my blog though. This will go public when I’m ready.

As stalled as I sometimes feel on this project, it’s been nice focusing on the creative side of things again. I needed this break to recharge. I can breath again, I don’t panic when I want to draw something. Or sometimes I panic, but not as often or for as long. It’s easier. And my confidence is building in subtle ways that I don’t notice now but will later. It’s the way I draw casually again. When I have an idea, or want to express something vague in my head. Don’t laugh I know that’s how it’s supposed to be! But it’s not. I get drained.

It’ll be two years of yoga this summer! Twice a week. It’s still great, but man oh man my hips will never open! They just ache in and refuse to move in class, I have the hips of a 90 year old woman! It’s terrible. But I keep at it. I am hoping to be part of Nadia’s assessment class this winter. That would be an honor. We love Nadia, she’s in India right now, studying at the Iyengar institute. She’ll be there for a month, and then she’s adopting a baby and will miss the next two months. Which is pretty exciting. But we’ll miss her. Bec however (our Tuesday teacher) will still be there.

We had our first family vacation in years! For mom’s 60th birthday we all went to St. Johns. You would have loved it! It’s so beautiful there. Like paradise. With such beautiful turquoise water and a magical drink they call the lime and coconut. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? You put the lime in the coconut and shake it all up, with a nice virgin island rum! It’s brilliant. Of course Brian and I got into a vicious fight the last night but we patched things up the best way we could. This was not unlike the fight we go onto when he was home for Chris’s wedding. We get along fine on our own but you add another person and it’s shrapnel to the hand grenade. Let’s see how we do at Beth’s wedding ;) I’m just kidding, we always last until the after party.

Barack Obama is president now. He’s doing the best he can. The call this the great recession. It’s pretty bad though. I’m nervous being out of work and all but what can you do? There have been some scary and surreal moments. The other day Obama cam on the air to announce GM going bankrupt, and citing Chrysler’s recent bankruptcy and merging with Fiat (of all companies) as a shining example of hope for the future. It was very Atlas Shrugged. In fact right now everything is very Atlas Shrugged. Which surprisingly isn’t me nay saying Obama. Despite how it sounded, and he certainly didn’t expand on this, the Chrysler Fiat merge could be great. It would give Fiat a bigger foothold in the global market, as they compete with VW, and it could bring some of the fuel efficient Fiat line to America which will provide, us with cars we actually want to drive. So I see how it could work. But it’s still not a good sign. And he’s kept message of hope. Which as it turns out I’m fan of. It’s the fireside chat of the day. Hillary is Secretary of State, and you don’t hear as much about her.

I still dream about you. You still don’t talk in my dreams. Deadmen tell no tales. And I had a dream that I made a piece of art of you. I’m debating whether that will come to fruition or not. I mean it was a little weird and kind of in a way cross dressy as it was a drawing of you as the statue of liberty. I don’t know that that’s how you want to be remembered in life but… it tickles me a bit.

Times have changed Dad, cross dressing is a little more popular and accepted. I had a dream that a handsome man in was wearing a kilt. And I very much desired to uhm… talk to him in my dream. I real longing to talk to him. But alas he eluded me, mores the pity. Anyway, Hadley asked me if he had been wearing eyeliner. I hadn’t noticed in the dream, but In my head I thought, he is now! Because guys in eyeliner and shirts are apealing. Yeah I know, it’s the artist in me, thanks for sharing. Why is it that every time I write your letter I put something in to bother you. I guess it’s to show I haven’t lost my sense of humor.

And the movie recommendation is… Man on Wire. Because it renewed a sense of hope and belief in me. And despite my lack of organized religion, I think everyone wants something to believe in. Whether it’s a sports team, or a politician, or hitching your wagon to someone else’s dream… we all want to believe. It’s about the Frenchman who strung a wire between the twin towers, and walk across it early one morning. It was a classic heist movie, with a hare brain idea and some friends in on the game. But it’s a story told well, with charm and great music, and vision and I suppose some history.

I’m going to Dana’s wedding today. I did the invitations for her wedding, and soon I will do Beth’s invitations. I never thought she’s want a wedding, Beth, not Dana. I was excited that Dana was getting married on your birthday. I thought it was a good sign. It’s a good day.

I really wish you were here right now. I could really use your advice and your unrealistic confidence in me, and your unconditional love. I’m scared and sliding and failing again. And I just want a hug from you in particular. I love you, I miss you! Happy Birthday Dad.

Love,
Kate

Tina Fey isn’t sexist. And neither were the people who wrote that skit.

Tina Fey isn’t sexist. And neither were the people who wrote that skit.

But you might have an argument that they are leftist.

There is a tempest in a teacup about the supposedly sexist skit on SNL last Saturday. While being brilliant and insightful, well timed and well played… I find it odd that anyone would argue sexism.

From me? The woman who agreed that Obama was sexist to use the pig in lipstick statement? Which believe me, has my mother furious with me. She’s a party girl, a democratic party girl, and come election time she tends to line up with the party. I tend to get angry with them and threaten not to vote for them, and on occasion don’t vote for them. I don’t like the party line. And I hate that assume they can just have my vote because I fit their demographic. Earn it people!

I digress.

And for all the arguments people have about why this skit isn’t sexist… mostly stating it’s a parody or it’s so dead on that it true.

I think the more obvious and telling sign that it’s not sexist is… and the people calling sexist agree with this point… it portrays Hillary as a woman of substance. Sexism in the context doesn’t work if you aren’t arguing the portrayal of both women. If you were saying that both women where treated disrespectfully, or as insubstantial, had there been a man in the skit and he was the voice of reason… etc., that would be sexist.

But because the skit leans to flattering to Hillary Clinton, and dismissing Sarah Palin… it’s not sexist, it’s just humor. It’s just parody, and it reflects the media’s portrayal of the two politicians. Sure SNL leans liberal, you could certainly argue that. Most of the time you could even arguer sexism. But not in this skit. Sexism would have to apply to both parties. SNL can pick on a woman without it being sexist, especially if there is another woman in the skit to compare her too.

So why is this bothering me so much?

It’s crying wolf.

It’s a public media frenzy of crying wolf. You can’t cry wolf, without there being a wolf because when the wolf comes no one takes you seriously. And sexism is a serious problem.

It was a hilarious skit. Tina Fey was dead on as Sarah Palin, and Amy Poehler is a great Hillary Clinton, I loved the bitterness with the big smile! That’s my girl.

DNC HRC & BHO

Hillary Clinton spoke to her loyal supporters yesterday at the DNC as she urged them to vote for Barack Obama. It was a passionate dynamic speech, it played to her strengths, it showed her as a candidate for the future. It reminded me of why I wanted her to win in the first place.

She knows that we’re out here. A group of angry people, mostly women, who still feel the sting of her defeat. We still believe she was the better candidate, we don’t care for Barack Obama. If he loses, they’ll blame us, like they blamed the folks who voted for Nader in 2000.

Hillary asked if we were in this campaign just for her?

No Hillary I wasn’t in this campaign just for you. I was in it for me. I was in it for all of the women who walk that impossible line trying to be strong, but feminine, tough, but likable, loud, but not shrill, the virgin but the whore, the whore but the vigin. I was in it because I saw someone attempting something so big… something I’d stopped believing could happen. And it didn’t happen. But it was so close.

And I watched misogyny rear its ugly head and roar. It wasn’t just men, it was women too. Women! How does society fill us with such self loathing? How many times have a heard women say they don’t like working for a female boss? Or other women? Or that they only have male friends? That women can’t be trusted or are catty?

I voted for Nader in 2000…. Don’t tell me I lost Gore the election, a) I’m in MA and he got all of our electoral votes, b) the election was stolen, the votes were not even recounted in Florida! And c) Gore could have had my vote if he had earned it.

And that’s the crux of it. Omaba can have all of our votes if he earns them.

Hey, Kool Thing, come here, sit down beside me
there's something I gotta ask you.
I just wanna know, what are you gonna do for me?
I mean, are you gonna liberate us girls
from male white corporate oppression?

So sweetie, you want Hillary to make amends and sweep her supporters over to you… because we are bitter and hurt by the way the election turned out… so we, like her are supposed to concede to you and just give you our votes and what… be happy about it? Because we lost we don’t a voice? No, I don’t think so. The party has always trusted that women would just get in line and do what’s right. Always vote for the lesser of two evils. Where does that leave us? Where is our voice in that?

How about instead, you reach out to us and earn our votes. Instead of being insulted that we preferred a different candidate, show us why we should want to vote for you. I promise to keep an open mind about you… what are you going to promise me?

Maybe its a mans world, but we live here too, we out number you and you’re going to have to recognize us if you want to earn our votes. Okay sweetie?

Good luck.

And Hillary, you make me proud.

I’m a feminist.

And I mean that. I mean it in the “I won’t apologize” kind of way. I mean it in the “I’ll stand up for myself and anyone else I need to” kind of way. And I mean that in the “I’ll support Hillary” kind of way.

If you don’t support Hillary are you not a feminist?

No, of course not. You might be a republican. Or an independent. Or an Obama supporter.

You can be an Obama supporter and a feminist of course.

I’ll try to refrain from adding a judgmental comment about Obama’s voting record, his inexperience, and the slightly misogynistic language he occasionally uses. Oh snap! I commented on that. Well it’s all in good fun.

This bit is from a Lynn Harris piece on Salon.com

But. If Hillary supporters are pissed off, and maybe even taking it out inappropriately on their Obama friends, I'd say we have reason to be. And this is what Darnton's essay fails to capture. We are frustrated. Not necessarily because we expect or demand that all women (!) must vote a certain way. Not necessarily by the possibility of an Obama win, but by that of a Clinton loss. And not just by that potential loss -- which, I should underscore, is not a done deal, even as the orchestra tunes for the ritual dance-on-grave -- but by (some of) the reasons that may be behind it.

We are frustrated by Clinton's dumb luck: Obama's advent, in this race of all races, is her "Snakes. It had to be snakes."

We are frustrated by the much-documented and -discussed perception that the media is harder on Hillary, or, as the case may be, sillier. (Witness the "Miss Frigidaire" question from Katie Couric, a woman who should know a little something about having one's "personality" appear to trump one's accomplishments.)

We are frustrated by the feeling that we skipped a step somewhere: How did a progressive female candidate come -- at least by comparison -- to represent The Man?
We are frustrated by the way it became "cool" to vote Obama and uncool to vote otherwise; this is an orthodoxy unto itself.

We are frustrated that diversity of opinion among women -- as if we're all on one big giant Listserv ("Who are you voting for? And what are you wearing? OK me too bye!") -- is so often reported as "division." (Even in articles about why Clinton supporters are frustrated!)

We are frustrated because it really would be pretty great to have a progressive woman president. Sue us.

And we are, yes, frustrated by people -- enlightened people! -- who say things like, "I agree with all her policies, I just don't ... like her." Or that she’s "cold." Or "calculating." (We all know about "shrill.") (Which to me, for the record, describes John McCain.)

That, my friends, is sexism the way racism is crossing the street at night when someone black approaches; it's ingrained at this point, reflexive. And that, my friends, is (in part) drinking the misogynist anti-Clinton Kool-Aid the GOP's been stirring up since 1993. I won't call them "terrorists," but it's letting them win.

So anyway I’m a feminist, and I like Hillary and I’m tired of apologizing for it. And if you really want to hate Hill go for it. Just understand what your reasons are, and what part the media played in them.

I’m sick of people telling me I’m a raging feminist, I’d like them to say I’m a supportive feminist. I’m tired of people teasing me, or belittling my points even as a joke. I have a sense of humor but that’s just not funny. But I put up with more than I’d care to.

Worse than that are the people who think we’ve achieved the proper balance and there’s no fight left. It’s this men and women are different and we should just accept this attitude that really does me in. Women who seemingly inherently trust men more than women hurt my head. They’re out there though.

Sigh.

So I’m a feminist, frustrated, but trained to be patient. I can wait with the best of them.

And as I waited for the writer’s strike to end… I never really gave it any thought of how it was affecting campaigns. I didn’t think about late night, or SNL or really anything, certain not the political part they play in primaries. Maybe Arron Sorkin was right… he did follow up the West Wing with Studio 60. And one of the complaints was that the comedy was taken just as seriously as the politics were.

And then I saw this in the Boston Globe today.