Getting hot in here...

So I haven’t blogged in a while but I haven’t been slacking. Really…

I’ve been working on a project with Marcie and I’ve struggled with it a bit so it’s managed to take up a good portion of my time. It’s been nice to have a project that I can be so enthusiastic about. I look forward to working on it. Of course it’s so easy with Marcie because she gives me complete artistic control over it. I should have the clean up done tonight… so watch you email Marcie!

Work has been… frustrating. I’m frustrated with it. I’m frustrated with me in it. The mind numbing tedium of it all. It’s busy but I’m bored. I’m not happy there. My unhappiness grows every day… but I feel trapped. I just want to make it through the summer. Sigh… it kind of hurts.

Summer is finally here. I was reading something this morning about the different personalities of the New Englander. We have our dark, cynical, political, serious winter personalities, and our happy go lucky, let’s put politics aside for 3 months and enjoy life summer personalities. Right now when people are so grateful for the warmth of the sun and long days… it almost makes the brutal winters all right. Because you love the summer that much more.

It’s going to be 90 degrees and humid tomorrow… I can’t wait!

In other news I did a new painting the other day. Words. Cheerleader, tree, kicking, hotel, Chinese. Beth did the same. Naturally we both despise our own pictures and admire the other’s. I have to do more art.

Welcome to the Caribbean, luv

Okay you all might have noticed things have perked up on my site! Thanks to Hadley who designed my site as a birthday present to me… And I have to say it’s beyond perfect! Hibiscus and Captain Jack Sparrow just make my day.

Hadley you’ve gone beyond the call of duty with this! I am endlessly impressed… and I think I become your indentured servant any minute now because of it! Thank you!!!

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

Now everyone tell Hadley how wonderful it is!!


Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.

Without a train...

So it’s funny how I mentioned my fiancé on the train yesterday.

Today I was walking to the train and as I crossed the street I heard someone yell Hey! I thought What the fuck, I didn’t even do anything. Pedestrian mentality to being yelled at by cars. I turned saw no cars near me, no people me and I started to walk again. Another Hey! Louder this time with a tinge of amusement, familiarity. He’s done this to me before… I turned and saw his car. My fiancé on the train finally got his car. He would no longer be on the train. A big smile, You want a ride?

He didn’t have ask me twice.

So he gave me a ride to Boston. Which was sweet and he offered to give rides whenever he gets out it 4. Which I don’t know will happen but… we’ll see. I like the ride. I like that he offered. I think he must really want Red Sox Tickets. And we still haven’t used each other’s name. When I got out of the car and thanked him he said see you tomorrow. Smile. Maybe.

June is busting out all over...

The June leaves are finally turning to jade… and heat, real heat has brought it’s summer embrace to New England. And I for one am glad.

Oh and I might have mentioned in my last post my boyfriend on the train, has now become my fiancé on the train. As I finally learned his name… Jeff. I had promised him Red Sox tickets once and he had been thrilled beyond belief. Because really what kind of stranger does that. Unfortunately the day I had tickets he wasn’t at the train. I know where he works. But I very couldn’t go up there and ask someone If there’s a guy who rides train her? Because I have Sox tickets for him. No unfortunately I don’t know his name… How do I know him? Uhm by sight??? I explained this to him when I saw him a few days later. He was disappointed to say the least and we exchanged names and numbers. Although we’ve yet to use either of them. But the intimacy of this knowledge, the fact that I can call him whenever I like has upgraded his status to fiancé in my imaginary world. It’s fun.

Other than that things have settled in to slow hot pace of the start of summer in the city. I hope this lead to drinking of rooftops, walking on beaches, laying in parks, hiding in movie theaters, laughing, dancing, ballgames, thunderstorms, ice cream and hot restless dreams. I started the summer on the right foot. While in LA in Venice I talked the night through with my pal Linda. We strolled to the beach at about 6am and stood in the water for an hour or so before stripping down and running in to the cold Pacific Ocean in our underwear and frolicking like seals until we were exhausted. As we climbed out of the water Linder whispered “Just act normal” as people passed us by. As we climbed back into our clothes some nice old ladies giggled and asked if it was cold in there. They had a twinkle to their eyes and when turned to walk away we saw them standing in the water looking like they might take the plunge themselves.

And that’s the way you start a summer.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Me and Dad

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you!

Another year’s gone by… hard to believe I turned thirty this year. I wish you could have attended. A good time was guaranteed for all. Thing have been good this year as a whole. It’s been exciting and less productive than I would like but still productive enough. I have to really start to focus on my art again.

Beth was saying people still say I’m just like you… that I could push your button more than anyone. And they say Brian looks like you and that leaves her out. Funny she’s so very much like you. I seem to be known for the less pleasant traits. I’m like you when I’m slightly irrational, stubborn or argumentative. But she’s got the twinkle just like you. And I’m glad she does, because the world needs more of it.

Well, what’s happened this year? The Lee fiasco, the endless search for a job, a trip to LA? Peanuts, nothing compared to one thing I would have given anything to have shared with you.

I’ve had girlish thoughts of things you might miss in my life. If I get married, you won’t walk down the isle. If I have kids they will never know their grandfather. . But I had never really thought that I would see the RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES! And you wouldn’t. I wish you had been her to watch it with us. To witness the greatest comeback in sports history… I know somewhere you were smiling over that.

I’ll try to be nicer to mom. I’ll try to call Brian more often. He’s my brother and that last visit was too short. We try and I think it gets easier in the summer. I like that we all say I love you before we hang up the phone now. It wasn’t always like that… and it was never because didn’t love one another. I’ve had people comment on that when they hear me say goodbye. It makes me appreciate that we do love each other enough to say it every time we hang up.

The weather has finally turned nice and I finally asked my boyfriend on the train what his name is. Jeff. We exchanged cell phone numbers because sometime I get Red Sox tickets from work and I told him if I had extra he could have a ticket or two. Sometimes I get 2 sometimes, 4. But he’s not always on the train so we exchange names in numbers just in case. I’m now referring to him as my fiancé on the train. You’d like him in a casual sense, a bit thuggish but nice enough. Probably not too bright but quick to laugh. Who knows maybe we’ll go to a game together.

I style my hair now which is shocking and no doubt a phase. You needn’t worry about it I’ll go back to being wash and dry soon. We went down the cape this weekend and stayed at Joan’s. It was nice but not the same. I miss our house. I miss you. I miss Jane. Remember standing on bluff watching the storms roll in? Or waking up at night and sitting living room during lightning storms? Watching the room light up in flashes? Remember the friendly skunk?

Oh I miss you Dad! I miss the irrational moments, the complete confidence in other people, in me… I miss your smile the way you called me “The Kate” or “Jellybean”. I want to know more about you. I want you to know about me. I want you see what wonderful and exciting things have happened. Mostly I miss your voice, the twinkle in your eyes, and sound of your laugh. I miss your stories and the way you separated family and work.

In some traitorous ways I suppose I’m glad things have worked out as they have. You’re absence has afforded me certain opportunities that I’m glad I’ve taken advantage of. Getting to know Chard, seeing Mom blossom into her independence. Watching Beth become the amazing strong woman she is. Watching Brian turn his life around. They’d make you proud. We’d make you proud.

I guess that’s it.

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you!