Happy Birthday Dad!

Me and Dad

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you!

Another year’s gone by… hard to believe I turned thirty this year. I wish you could have attended. A good time was guaranteed for all. Thing have been good this year as a whole. It’s been exciting and less productive than I would like but still productive enough. I have to really start to focus on my art again.

Beth was saying people still say I’m just like you… that I could push your button more than anyone. And they say Brian looks like you and that leaves her out. Funny she’s so very much like you. I seem to be known for the less pleasant traits. I’m like you when I’m slightly irrational, stubborn or argumentative. But she’s got the twinkle just like you. And I’m glad she does, because the world needs more of it.

Well, what’s happened this year? The Lee fiasco, the endless search for a job, a trip to LA? Peanuts, nothing compared to one thing I would have given anything to have shared with you.

I’ve had girlish thoughts of things you might miss in my life. If I get married, you won’t walk down the isle. If I have kids they will never know their grandfather. . But I had never really thought that I would see the RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES! And you wouldn’t. I wish you had been her to watch it with us. To witness the greatest comeback in sports history… I know somewhere you were smiling over that.

I’ll try to be nicer to mom. I’ll try to call Brian more often. He’s my brother and that last visit was too short. We try and I think it gets easier in the summer. I like that we all say I love you before we hang up the phone now. It wasn’t always like that… and it was never because didn’t love one another. I’ve had people comment on that when they hear me say goodbye. It makes me appreciate that we do love each other enough to say it every time we hang up.

The weather has finally turned nice and I finally asked my boyfriend on the train what his name is. Jeff. We exchanged cell phone numbers because sometime I get Red Sox tickets from work and I told him if I had extra he could have a ticket or two. Sometimes I get 2 sometimes, 4. But he’s not always on the train so we exchange names in numbers just in case. I’m now referring to him as my fiancé on the train. You’d like him in a casual sense, a bit thuggish but nice enough. Probably not too bright but quick to laugh. Who knows maybe we’ll go to a game together.

I style my hair now which is shocking and no doubt a phase. You needn’t worry about it I’ll go back to being wash and dry soon. We went down the cape this weekend and stayed at Joan’s. It was nice but not the same. I miss our house. I miss you. I miss Jane. Remember standing on bluff watching the storms roll in? Or waking up at night and sitting living room during lightning storms? Watching the room light up in flashes? Remember the friendly skunk?

Oh I miss you Dad! I miss the irrational moments, the complete confidence in other people, in me… I miss your smile the way you called me “The Kate” or “Jellybean”. I want to know more about you. I want you to know about me. I want you see what wonderful and exciting things have happened. Mostly I miss your voice, the twinkle in your eyes, and sound of your laugh. I miss your stories and the way you separated family and work.

In some traitorous ways I suppose I’m glad things have worked out as they have. You’re absence has afforded me certain opportunities that I’m glad I’ve taken advantage of. Getting to know Chard, seeing Mom blossom into her independence. Watching Beth become the amazing strong woman she is. Watching Brian turn his life around. They’d make you proud. We’d make you proud.

I guess that’s it.

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you!