Amanda Palmer...

In a way I've been feeling a bit lost.  I haven't blogged in ages, but some stories aren't right for facebook.  Some stories aren't to be told to everyone.  But some stories need to be recorded.  And that's when I missed my blog.

Amanda Palmer is on TED Talks and has some interesting things to say about the music industry but more to the point of artists asking for money. And that interested me as an artist who makes no money, who can never figure out how to sell, or to ask people for money.

At one  point she talks about when she used to make money being a living statue.  And living in Boston I actually remember when she used to be the eight foot bride... I didn't know who she was, but I would give money when I could because I love living statues and street artists.   I feel lucky to live in a place that we have street artists brightening the city landscape.

But I also remember her offering the flower and not being able to figure out what to do next.  I didn't want to take her flower, not knowing if she had more flowers to give, not understanding if it was a prop she needed.  It was uncomfortable.   That intense eye contact she gave when gave her money actually seemed challenging and threatening to me. I felt like I might have missed the point of the exercise, it made me hesitant to give money again, it made me feel small.  So the next time I'd see her I'd try to sneak the money in without her noticing.  Sometimes she would be looking up at the sky or at a child, or at another performer.  But she always caught me, and I'd slink away without comment.

My few interactions with Amanda Palmer, not even knowing it was "Amanda Fucking Palmer" left me feeling uneasy.

A while back a friend of mine who went to high school with Amanda Palmer posted this compassionate look at internet bullying.  Again Amanda Palmer brought up some good points and she showed a lot of compassion for the people out there getting bullied, and poor Amanda Todd.  But for some reason it left me feeling uneasy too.  It bother's me that I can't figure out why I don't connect well with Amanda Palmer.