I may or may not have been hired today. That is I’m 70% sure that after count them 22 months (give or take a day or two) I may be hired. You see I don’t have a timeframe on my alleged hiring. I didn’t ask. After 374 days of actual temping (574 days if you include weekends and holidays – holidays unpaid) you learn not to ask questions. Its depressing to ask questions.
I was told over lunch, that my boss would speak to his boss, and recommend hiring me full time. So I think that means I’m hired. However, I was told that I need to work harder, and focus more energy into working. Which is why I’m blogging this right now. Hmmm…
So I’m not sure whether I should celebrate just yet. I don’t know when any of this happens. I was pleasantly surprised by this turn of event. But I’m afraid too.
It’s like they say, the closer you come to being rescued the more frightened you are that something will go wrong and they’ll fail. I feel that way.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Somethings stay the same...
I don't know somewhere along the 22 years from then till now, and I mean from 10 to 32 I thought I'd changed. Maybe grew up a bit. Maybe changed. But what have I been doing lately, what have I been obsessing over lately... doing handstands. What have I been talking about lately? Original My Little Ponies.
And when I tried on this wig and snapped a picture with my cell phone. It snapped me right back to my youth. To being ten. Have I even changed at all?
For example me.
And when I tried on this wig and snapped a picture with my cell phone. It snapped me right back to my youth. To being ten. Have I even changed at all?
For example me.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Hope for the future!
Seriously folks, I have hope for the future.
Hope came to me yesterday in the form of a handstand. That’s right kids, a handstand, a genuine handstand against a wall. I kicked up and I stayed. And I stayed. And when I was done I gently came down.
Now I’ve been working on handstands for weeks, for months really if you count class. I wouldn’t because my efforts have been so half hearted there. It just seamed so unobtainable. Honestly I was having a hard time believing I could do it. In fact I still have a hard time believing. And fear is definitely a factor. Still. I’m terrified. But it’s so damn cool! And so unexpected. And so unlike my body to be able to do something like that. It’s kind of crazy sexy cool!
And it gives me hope.
In yoga, at the end of practice they always tell you to thank your body, for its hard work, for committing to this practice. I don’t say it enough. I don’t appreciate it enough. I don’t marvel at it enough. I’m a lousy friend to my body sometimes, I’m the friend who criticizes, and complains about you, who abuses you and expects too much from you.
So I just want to say thank you to my body, for doing something so amazing.
Thank you for letting me see that there is still hope. That a body like mine is still amazing, still wonderful, still unexpectedly capable. Thank you for fighting the good fight, for helping me balance, for kicking up there. And a special shout out to my arms and hands for supporting the entire weight of my body, without letting me crash onto my head, breaking my neck etc. I really appreciate it.
Hope came to me yesterday in the form of a handstand. That’s right kids, a handstand, a genuine handstand against a wall. I kicked up and I stayed. And I stayed. And when I was done I gently came down.
Now I’ve been working on handstands for weeks, for months really if you count class. I wouldn’t because my efforts have been so half hearted there. It just seamed so unobtainable. Honestly I was having a hard time believing I could do it. In fact I still have a hard time believing. And fear is definitely a factor. Still. I’m terrified. But it’s so damn cool! And so unexpected. And so unlike my body to be able to do something like that. It’s kind of crazy sexy cool!
And it gives me hope.
In yoga, at the end of practice they always tell you to thank your body, for its hard work, for committing to this practice. I don’t say it enough. I don’t appreciate it enough. I don’t marvel at it enough. I’m a lousy friend to my body sometimes, I’m the friend who criticizes, and complains about you, who abuses you and expects too much from you.
So I just want to say thank you to my body, for doing something so amazing.
Thank you for letting me see that there is still hope. That a body like mine is still amazing, still wonderful, still unexpectedly capable. Thank you for fighting the good fight, for helping me balance, for kicking up there. And a special shout out to my arms and hands for supporting the entire weight of my body, without letting me crash onto my head, breaking my neck etc. I really appreciate it.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Dear Dad
Dear Dad,
Another year another day. Not much changed. Same old job, same old song and dance, and I get by on a wing a prayer. Not to say things are all bad or that no good has come this year. I haven’t been very productive lately. I fee worn out. I know I know these things happen, I do the best I can. That should be enough. I’m supposed to start yoga tomorrow. Maybe that will help.
I thought of you the other day, these thoughts seem to grow more distant, more personal, sweeter or sometimes funnier when they happen. My world is a little colder without your unconditional love. I warm myself on these memories.
Someone mentioned their father would pick them up at the airport, and would probably park and come in. And I thought you’d do that. You’d come and pick me up from the airport. You’d park and maybe buy a coffee or something. You’d do it because you were relaxed and laid back and would think why not enjoy a trip to the airport. And you’d do it because you loved me. I miss that. Although mom has become sentimental and now parks to pick people up from the airport.
I miss you, and wonder what you would think of all the political hoopla. Who would win your vote, are you a Hilary fan or Obama? What would you think of global warming, Al Gore and the state of the union? Would you be as liberal as I hope? Perhaps not. But we would talk about all of it.
And Chardy. You’d be so proud of him. Chardy, embodies so much of your spirit, of the Shea spirit, of our spirit. I live vicariously through their family. He loves his kid as you did. He’s a big marshmallow for them. Caryn is so wonderful, so fierce and loving, and smart and competitive.
I’ve discovered a new love. Del Toro. Pan’s Labyrinth and The Devil’s Backbone hit me in the way that only a good catholic director could. I wonder if you’d like them. So beautiful and violent, terrifying, poignant, and rare, would you like them? Would they go too far you? I don’t know. I think you’d enjoy them. Especially Pan’s Labyrinth
Brian is Brian, we communicate through a series of notes about movies and Sox conversations. It’s a subtle form of communication but it will suffice until we find more common ground. It bridges the love that is there.
You’d be so proud of Beth. Back to school she goes, fighting the workforce. It’s hard for us. But we do our best. She is so incredibly compassionate, and so strikingly intelligent. We spend hours complimenting each other on our common sense and the disbelief that the people around us aren’t more alarmed by the goings on of the world. History has become our greatest ally, much to my own chagrin. I can see you smile at that.
Mom has retired and is as busy as ever. I think she misses you more now. This was supposed to be your time together. You’d be down the Cape by now reading on the beach. Maybe the two of you would travel, see the world. Italy perhaps? France? I can see it in my mind. Mom’s a little upset that I’ll be taking the road trip with Beth this summer. But I needed it more than she did. And Beth is and forever will be my best friend. Mom will get her chance too.
So my dear father, I leave things much the same. A spark of hope, a twinkle of luck and a heavy dash of cynicism. I love you. I miss you. And I try to appreciate this big shiny world on your behalf. I’m sure life is wasted on the living and I’ll try to sit back and enjoy the view now and again.
Happy Birthday Dad!
Your loving daughter,
Kate
Another year another day. Not much changed. Same old job, same old song and dance, and I get by on a wing a prayer. Not to say things are all bad or that no good has come this year. I haven’t been very productive lately. I fee worn out. I know I know these things happen, I do the best I can. That should be enough. I’m supposed to start yoga tomorrow. Maybe that will help.
I thought of you the other day, these thoughts seem to grow more distant, more personal, sweeter or sometimes funnier when they happen. My world is a little colder without your unconditional love. I warm myself on these memories.
Someone mentioned their father would pick them up at the airport, and would probably park and come in. And I thought you’d do that. You’d come and pick me up from the airport. You’d park and maybe buy a coffee or something. You’d do it because you were relaxed and laid back and would think why not enjoy a trip to the airport. And you’d do it because you loved me. I miss that. Although mom has become sentimental and now parks to pick people up from the airport.
I miss you, and wonder what you would think of all the political hoopla. Who would win your vote, are you a Hilary fan or Obama? What would you think of global warming, Al Gore and the state of the union? Would you be as liberal as I hope? Perhaps not. But we would talk about all of it.
And Chardy. You’d be so proud of him. Chardy, embodies so much of your spirit, of the Shea spirit, of our spirit. I live vicariously through their family. He loves his kid as you did. He’s a big marshmallow for them. Caryn is so wonderful, so fierce and loving, and smart and competitive.
I’ve discovered a new love. Del Toro. Pan’s Labyrinth and The Devil’s Backbone hit me in the way that only a good catholic director could. I wonder if you’d like them. So beautiful and violent, terrifying, poignant, and rare, would you like them? Would they go too far you? I don’t know. I think you’d enjoy them. Especially Pan’s Labyrinth
Brian is Brian, we communicate through a series of notes about movies and Sox conversations. It’s a subtle form of communication but it will suffice until we find more common ground. It bridges the love that is there.
You’d be so proud of Beth. Back to school she goes, fighting the workforce. It’s hard for us. But we do our best. She is so incredibly compassionate, and so strikingly intelligent. We spend hours complimenting each other on our common sense and the disbelief that the people around us aren’t more alarmed by the goings on of the world. History has become our greatest ally, much to my own chagrin. I can see you smile at that.
Mom has retired and is as busy as ever. I think she misses you more now. This was supposed to be your time together. You’d be down the Cape by now reading on the beach. Maybe the two of you would travel, see the world. Italy perhaps? France? I can see it in my mind. Mom’s a little upset that I’ll be taking the road trip with Beth this summer. But I needed it more than she did. And Beth is and forever will be my best friend. Mom will get her chance too.
So my dear father, I leave things much the same. A spark of hope, a twinkle of luck and a heavy dash of cynicism. I love you. I miss you. And I try to appreciate this big shiny world on your behalf. I’m sure life is wasted on the living and I’ll try to sit back and enjoy the view now and again.
Happy Birthday Dad!
Your loving daughter,
Kate
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Best Sandwich I'd Never Heard of...
Sometimes I like to be adventurous with food because, I'm bored or curious. Well I had a pressed sandwich today that was bresaola and fontina.
BRESAOLA AND FONTINA
smoked bresaola and fontina with basil and a touch of
truffle oil on country white.
And I ordered it because I'd never heard of bresaola or fontina. I figured one was meat and one was cheese but I really wanted that truffle oil on my sandwich. Most of the other sandwiches had vinager or goat cheese or something I didn't like.
Bresaola it turns out tastes like a mix of prosciutto and roast beef. It's dry and salty but tender and quite tasty. Fontina is a slightly sweet nutty hard cheese that melts well. And truffle oil, which I don't know that I've ever had is just heavenly. I wanted just bread and truffle oil after that... toast with truffle oil spread across it like butter. I wanted it in my hand lotion. I wanted to bathe in it.
I kept smelling my napkin that had some oil on it just savoring the scent. It was like... nothing I had ever smelled. It defied description. It didn't smell musty or mushroomy. It smelled... elusive. They say it's aphrodiasiac. I can understand why.
BRESAOLA AND FONTINA
smoked bresaola and fontina with basil and a touch of
truffle oil on country white.
And I ordered it because I'd never heard of bresaola or fontina. I figured one was meat and one was cheese but I really wanted that truffle oil on my sandwich. Most of the other sandwiches had vinager or goat cheese or something I didn't like.
Bresaola it turns out tastes like a mix of prosciutto and roast beef. It's dry and salty but tender and quite tasty. Fontina is a slightly sweet nutty hard cheese that melts well. And truffle oil, which I don't know that I've ever had is just heavenly. I wanted just bread and truffle oil after that... toast with truffle oil spread across it like butter. I wanted it in my hand lotion. I wanted to bathe in it.
I kept smelling my napkin that had some oil on it just savoring the scent. It was like... nothing I had ever smelled. It defied description. It didn't smell musty or mushroomy. It smelled... elusive. They say it's aphrodiasiac. I can understand why.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Waiting for that moment
Over the years I’ve learned a few things about myself, and although I do learn… there are lessons I feel doomed to repeat each year, especially around Christmas.
I know myself. I know my overly ambitious plans, I know how I work. I come up with ideas about hand crafting mountains of presents, and clever ways to wrap them, and run out of time every year. My plans are always big, pie in sky dreams, beautiful dreams. Generous in nature, ambitious in scale… these dreams warm me though the lengthening nights.
And every year somewhere along the way it happens. Maybe it’s the 20th, the 22nd, or even the 24th …. Somewhere along the way you can find me sitting on the floor at 3am the remnants of my broken dreams strewn about me. That’s when I say “No more.” What ever is done is done. Whatever isn’t won’t be. I can do no more.
What should be a sad moment, a moment of defeat really, a moment of failure sometimes on a spectacular scale… might be one of my favorite moments. It’s the moment I let go.
In that moment I realize somehow everything will be okay. I’ve done enough. This wasn’t my fault. I did my best and really, I did more than I thought I could. My eyes were bigger than my stomach. I can relax. It’s enough.
In the wee hours of the night, so peaceful… so lovely finally I’ll sleep a fitful sleep. The next morning I’ll still try to get more done. But it won’t be as urgent, as frantic. My plans will be more flexible, my schedule less daunting.
So right now, as look at my plate piled a mile high, I think to myself don’t worry, that moment will come. Reality will force itself into my plans but it will be pleasant. .. because it’s the season to be joyful.
I know myself. I know my overly ambitious plans, I know how I work. I come up with ideas about hand crafting mountains of presents, and clever ways to wrap them, and run out of time every year. My plans are always big, pie in sky dreams, beautiful dreams. Generous in nature, ambitious in scale… these dreams warm me though the lengthening nights.
And every year somewhere along the way it happens. Maybe it’s the 20th, the 22nd, or even the 24th …. Somewhere along the way you can find me sitting on the floor at 3am the remnants of my broken dreams strewn about me. That’s when I say “No more.” What ever is done is done. Whatever isn’t won’t be. I can do no more.
What should be a sad moment, a moment of defeat really, a moment of failure sometimes on a spectacular scale… might be one of my favorite moments. It’s the moment I let go.
In that moment I realize somehow everything will be okay. I’ve done enough. This wasn’t my fault. I did my best and really, I did more than I thought I could. My eyes were bigger than my stomach. I can relax. It’s enough.
In the wee hours of the night, so peaceful… so lovely finally I’ll sleep a fitful sleep. The next morning I’ll still try to get more done. But it won’t be as urgent, as frantic. My plans will be more flexible, my schedule less daunting.
So right now, as look at my plate piled a mile high, I think to myself don’t worry, that moment will come. Reality will force itself into my plans but it will be pleasant. .. because it’s the season to be joyful.
Friday, October 06, 2006
70 things I chose to resopnd to...
Got this from Hadley...
[1] What is your middle name?
Elizabeth
[2]What color is your mailbox?
Brass, it’s a mail slot
[3] What color shirt are you wearing?
Off white with orange and purple flowers
[4] Have you ever hit a deer?
Not yet
[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
No
[6]Do you get the paper delivered to your house in the morning?
No. I the metro on the train
[7] Who checks the mail in your house?
Me I live alone
[8] Do you have a small driveway?
No my house shares two driveways, both are pretty big.
[9] Do you know anyone with the same ringtone as you?
No… on this phone I programmed my own. So I took some strange snippets of musid.
[10] What do you do first in the morning?
Open my eyes.
[11] What brand is your printer?
Canon. Bad luck with Epsons.
[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?
Sometimes. I mean, generally no. But I’ve been known to argue with people I have crushes on.
[13]Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Wavy and frizzy. Not straight, not curly.
[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher(s)?
Eileen Riopell
[16] Are you taller than your mother?
I wish. But she’ll shrink.
[17] Do you have a favorite word?
Summer
[18] Are you God?
Nope
[19] What do you do to get over a broken heart?
Deny that I’m hurt
[20] Do you have a deep, dark secret?
Several.
[22] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
Yes they are pretty
[23] Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My eyes…
[24] Do you often cry during a movie?
Yup… I used to not cry but now I’m a mess. Watch the end of It’s a wonderful life with me. Or oddly Cool Running. But that has to do with Stone Fox.
[25] Do you hate your life?
Often
[26] Do you get mad easily?
I can go from 0-60 in a half a second, but then I can have the patience of a saint. It depends.
[27] Do you drink?
Often… heavily.
[28] What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who call you, when you answer “Hello?” you get nothing “Hello???” nothing and then suddenly they say “Hello!” and they sound all annoyed as if you called them.
[29] What is your away message?
Away away away away….
[30] Do any of your friends have kids?
Yes. But not many.
[32] Who should pay on the first date?
Whoever asked the other out. If it was a joint decision, then things should be split.
[33] How many years older than you are you willing to date?
Um 12 years older 5 years younger so I’m 31 that’s 25-43. And I wouldn’t date most 43 year olds but… I keep my options open.
[34] Do you have any friends?
Sure
[35] Do you have any mean friends?
Hell yes. We call her Evil.
[36] What is the ugliest color in your opinion?
Purple
[37] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn't stand?
Yes, and they were right.
[38] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff?
I’m afraid of heights.
[39] Have you ever been fired from a job?
Have I ever not been fired.
[40] In what year was your first love?
It was 7th grade. He didn’t know I was alive….
[41] Do you have a cell?
My only phone2] What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing right now?
No Idea
[42] How tall are you?
5’9”
[44] What is the closest green object?
The gum I’m chewing
[45] What is on your feet?
Flip Flops, yes I know it’s October
[46] Do you like watermelon?
Not my favorite, but home grown is quite good..
[48] Do you want to have kids?
Maybe
[49] What is the brightest color you're wearing right now?
Orange
[50] Who is the friend you have that you would never expect?
Um… Linda I guess. I couldn’t anticipate her.
[53] Stupidest movie you ever saw?
Dick Tracy
[54] Do you collect comic books?
Nope
[55] Do you like your dad?
Very much.
[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Freaks and Geeks, Buffy Season Two, Cowboy Bebop, LOST.
[57] Are you wearing makeup?
Nope
[58] Do you have a tattoo?
Nope.
[59] Have you ever been happily in love?
Nope, unless you count my love of Johnny Depp. I mean it’s alittle one sided but very happy.
[60] If you won the lottery you would _______?
be rich.
[61.] Do you know how to draw?
Yup.
[63] Who is your hero?
Jim Henson, was a big hero of mine, Roald Dahl, Elizabeth Dowd (8th grade English teacher), my folks… Barbara Boxer, Santa Claus, the Country Bunny and Little Golden, Shoes, Dr. Suess, that woman who wrote “Everybody’s free to wear sunscreen”
[64] Who did you last IM?
Beth
[65.] Do you work a lot of hours?
8-5 every day. Then what ever else I do.
[66] What do you do when you are stressed out?
Sleep, snap at people, get sick.
[67] Who was the last person that called you?
My Mom. Her cable box is broken and I walked her through hooking the cable up to the VCR.
[68.] Is there anything you regret?
Mostly being afraid of things.
[69] Do you know where your family name originated from?
It’s Irish “Shea” from O’Shea meaning “from the fairy fort”
My whole name Katherine Elizabeth Shea means “Pure, oath of god, form the fairy fort”
[70] Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Birds. All of them except for penguins, ducks, geese, and other swimming birds.
[1] What is your middle name?
Elizabeth
[2]What color is your mailbox?
Brass, it’s a mail slot
[3] What color shirt are you wearing?
Off white with orange and purple flowers
[4] Have you ever hit a deer?
Not yet
[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
No
[6]Do you get the paper delivered to your house in the morning?
No. I the metro on the train
[7] Who checks the mail in your house?
Me I live alone
[8] Do you have a small driveway?
No my house shares two driveways, both are pretty big.
[9] Do you know anyone with the same ringtone as you?
No… on this phone I programmed my own. So I took some strange snippets of musid.
[10] What do you do first in the morning?
Open my eyes.
[11] What brand is your printer?
Canon. Bad luck with Epsons.
[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?
Sometimes. I mean, generally no. But I’ve been known to argue with people I have crushes on.
[13]Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Wavy and frizzy. Not straight, not curly.
[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher(s)?
Eileen Riopell
[16] Are you taller than your mother?
I wish. But she’ll shrink.
[17] Do you have a favorite word?
Summer
[18] Are you God?
Nope
[19] What do you do to get over a broken heart?
Deny that I’m hurt
[20] Do you have a deep, dark secret?
Several.
[22] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
Yes they are pretty
[23] Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My eyes…
[24] Do you often cry during a movie?
Yup… I used to not cry but now I’m a mess. Watch the end of It’s a wonderful life with me. Or oddly Cool Running. But that has to do with Stone Fox.
[25] Do you hate your life?
Often
[26] Do you get mad easily?
I can go from 0-60 in a half a second, but then I can have the patience of a saint. It depends.
[27] Do you drink?
Often… heavily.
[28] What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who call you, when you answer “Hello?” you get nothing “Hello???” nothing and then suddenly they say “Hello!” and they sound all annoyed as if you called them.
[29] What is your away message?
Away away away away….
[30] Do any of your friends have kids?
Yes. But not many.
[32] Who should pay on the first date?
Whoever asked the other out. If it was a joint decision, then things should be split.
[33] How many years older than you are you willing to date?
Um 12 years older 5 years younger so I’m 31 that’s 25-43. And I wouldn’t date most 43 year olds but… I keep my options open.
[34] Do you have any friends?
Sure
[35] Do you have any mean friends?
Hell yes. We call her Evil.
[36] What is the ugliest color in your opinion?
Purple
[37] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn't stand?
Yes, and they were right.
[38] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff?
I’m afraid of heights.
[39] Have you ever been fired from a job?
Have I ever not been fired.
[40] In what year was your first love?
It was 7th grade. He didn’t know I was alive….
[41] Do you have a cell?
My only phone2] What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing right now?
No Idea
[42] How tall are you?
5’9”
[44] What is the closest green object?
The gum I’m chewing
[45] What is on your feet?
Flip Flops, yes I know it’s October
[46] Do you like watermelon?
Not my favorite, but home grown is quite good..
[48] Do you want to have kids?
Maybe
[49] What is the brightest color you're wearing right now?
Orange
[50] Who is the friend you have that you would never expect?
Um… Linda I guess. I couldn’t anticipate her.
[53] Stupidest movie you ever saw?
Dick Tracy
[54] Do you collect comic books?
Nope
[55] Do you like your dad?
Very much.
[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Freaks and Geeks, Buffy Season Two, Cowboy Bebop, LOST.
[57] Are you wearing makeup?
Nope
[58] Do you have a tattoo?
Nope.
[59] Have you ever been happily in love?
Nope, unless you count my love of Johnny Depp. I mean it’s alittle one sided but very happy.
[60] If you won the lottery you would _______?
be rich.
[61.] Do you know how to draw?
Yup.
[63] Who is your hero?
Jim Henson, was a big hero of mine, Roald Dahl, Elizabeth Dowd (8th grade English teacher), my folks… Barbara Boxer, Santa Claus, the Country Bunny and Little Golden, Shoes, Dr. Suess, that woman who wrote “Everybody’s free to wear sunscreen”
[64] Who did you last IM?
Beth
[65.] Do you work a lot of hours?
8-5 every day. Then what ever else I do.
[66] What do you do when you are stressed out?
Sleep, snap at people, get sick.
[67] Who was the last person that called you?
My Mom. Her cable box is broken and I walked her through hooking the cable up to the VCR.
[68.] Is there anything you regret?
Mostly being afraid of things.
[69] Do you know where your family name originated from?
It’s Irish “Shea” from O’Shea meaning “from the fairy fort”
My whole name Katherine Elizabeth Shea means “Pure, oath of god, form the fairy fort”
[70] Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Birds. All of them except for penguins, ducks, geese, and other swimming birds.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Five years ago, another staff meeting....
I have a staff meeting today.
Five years ago, in another building only a few blocks from here, I had a staff meeting on this day. Funny thing, it was on the 8th floor too. I had ordered food from Viga. But I won’t order food from Viga today.
Five years ago, a staff meeting got cancelled.
Five years ago Downtown Boston shut down. We weren’t evacuated we just left in a haze of confusion. I remember the gridlock traffic downtown. Nothing moving. Bumper to bumper. I remember the people standing on the street corners looking up at the sky. It felt apocalyptic. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t alone all day. Phone calls were made, friends were visited and a media blitz of images first seared into my mind then overwhelmed all senses.
Five years ago today, my cousin had a baby, his name is Ryan.
Five years ago today the weather was perfect. The sky was clear and blue the temperature… about 80.
Today is cold. I’m not dressed for the weather.
Five years ago today… September 11th.
Today I thought I’d have Falafel King instead of Viga. This was viewed as insensitive. I just wanted falafel.
Five years ago, in another building only a few blocks from here, I had a staff meeting on this day. Funny thing, it was on the 8th floor too. I had ordered food from Viga. But I won’t order food from Viga today.
Five years ago, a staff meeting got cancelled.
Five years ago Downtown Boston shut down. We weren’t evacuated we just left in a haze of confusion. I remember the gridlock traffic downtown. Nothing moving. Bumper to bumper. I remember the people standing on the street corners looking up at the sky. It felt apocalyptic. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t alone all day. Phone calls were made, friends were visited and a media blitz of images first seared into my mind then overwhelmed all senses.
Five years ago today, my cousin had a baby, his name is Ryan.
Five years ago today the weather was perfect. The sky was clear and blue the temperature… about 80.
Today is cold. I’m not dressed for the weather.
Five years ago today… September 11th.
Today I thought I’d have Falafel King instead of Viga. This was viewed as insensitive. I just wanted falafel.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Johnny, oh Johnny!
Right Fran… Pirates of the Caribbean II .
You all know I love Johnny, wait scratch that… You all know I adore, love, worship and lust after Johnny Depp. You all know that Captain Jack Sparrow is the stuff my dreams are made of… savvy?
But Part II of this trilogy left me begging the question “But why is the rum gone?”
Sequel syndrome my friends, it suffered from sequel syndrome. It left what wit, charm and plot it had behind and became obsessed with the action. Everything had to be bigger. It left the spectacular for the spectacle. Plot, character development, story, charisma and charm was thrown overboard. Effects, dizzying fight scenes, ridiculously complicated set up lead no where. With all of this it somehow left its swatches unbuckled. Oh and there wasn’t nearly enough rum.
Maybe I hadn’t had nearly enough rum…
It took the romance out of the seas. And it forced a romantic plotline where one needed to be lead, seductively down the path.
And the worst thing is I knew it form the preview alone.
I read a review somewhere that said they’ve taken what might be a decent 3 hour plot and bloated it to be a 5 hour movie split in two. And depending on how the 3rd film goes that might be true. But this was a long 2 ½ hours… and we haven’t seen where the arc ends.
And Johnny is lovely.
Captain Jack Sparrow is lovely.
He has much less to work with but is charming.
You all know I love Johnny, wait scratch that… You all know I adore, love, worship and lust after Johnny Depp. You all know that Captain Jack Sparrow is the stuff my dreams are made of… savvy?
But Part II of this trilogy left me begging the question “But why is the rum gone?”
Sequel syndrome my friends, it suffered from sequel syndrome. It left what wit, charm and plot it had behind and became obsessed with the action. Everything had to be bigger. It left the spectacular for the spectacle. Plot, character development, story, charisma and charm was thrown overboard. Effects, dizzying fight scenes, ridiculously complicated set up lead no where. With all of this it somehow left its swatches unbuckled. Oh and there wasn’t nearly enough rum.
Maybe I hadn’t had nearly enough rum…
It took the romance out of the seas. And it forced a romantic plotline where one needed to be lead, seductively down the path.
And the worst thing is I knew it form the preview alone.
I read a review somewhere that said they’ve taken what might be a decent 3 hour plot and bloated it to be a 5 hour movie split in two. And depending on how the 3rd film goes that might be true. But this was a long 2 ½ hours… and we haven’t seen where the arc ends.
And Johnny is lovely.
Captain Jack Sparrow is lovely.
He has much less to work with but is charming.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Geechie Wiley
Geechie Wiley was a fictional character to me.
Or at least I didn’t know she was real.
I had heard her mentioned in a story. It was about finding a rare Geechie Wiley album. I’m never sure about the line between fact and fiction... and in this case I thought maybe she wasn’t real.
That is until I bought an album from a subway musician named “Erin Harpe” who sang a song based off of Geechie Wiley. A name I couldn’t help but remember. And suddenly fiction came to life and I had the inside track on a story. I could hear a Geechie Wiley song. “Pick Poor Robin Clean”
Wait, let me explain something about that street musician. As far as subway musicians go she is my favorite, she’s the best I’ve ever heard. She sings the blues, but not just the blues, I’m talking old time depression era blues.
Every time I saw her I would search my pockets for cash and try to buy an album and every time I’d come up short. Until finally one day I had $10 and I bought an album. But I bought the wrong one. This one is great, it’s her band and they do a great job. But I wanted that soulful depression era blues that I heard on the subway.
So weeks later I scrounged up my crumpled ones, and $4 in quarters to by her original album. And there it was. “Pick Poor Robin Clean” - Geechie Wiley.
I felt my heart skip.
She’s real.
In that second I fell in love.
I fell in love with the idea of her. And then I heard Erin Harpe sing Pick Poor Robin Clean, and I knew what I had to do. The internet is a wonderful thing. I tracked down the faded, crackling Geechie Wiley and had a listen.
They are both brilliant.
I’m still in love with Erin Harpe, the greatest street musician I’ve had the privilege to listen to. And I’m still in love with Geechie Wiley who remains a mystery; she leaves a spotty trail of recording, but is real. Now I have the privilege of beginning to understand just how rare that album in the story was.
Or at least I didn’t know she was real.
I had heard her mentioned in a story. It was about finding a rare Geechie Wiley album. I’m never sure about the line between fact and fiction... and in this case I thought maybe she wasn’t real.
That is until I bought an album from a subway musician named “Erin Harpe” who sang a song based off of Geechie Wiley. A name I couldn’t help but remember. And suddenly fiction came to life and I had the inside track on a story. I could hear a Geechie Wiley song. “Pick Poor Robin Clean”
Wait, let me explain something about that street musician. As far as subway musicians go she is my favorite, she’s the best I’ve ever heard. She sings the blues, but not just the blues, I’m talking old time depression era blues.
Every time I saw her I would search my pockets for cash and try to buy an album and every time I’d come up short. Until finally one day I had $10 and I bought an album. But I bought the wrong one. This one is great, it’s her band and they do a great job. But I wanted that soulful depression era blues that I heard on the subway.
So weeks later I scrounged up my crumpled ones, and $4 in quarters to by her original album. And there it was. “Pick Poor Robin Clean” - Geechie Wiley.
I felt my heart skip.
She’s real.
In that second I fell in love.
I fell in love with the idea of her. And then I heard Erin Harpe sing Pick Poor Robin Clean, and I knew what I had to do. The internet is a wonderful thing. I tracked down the faded, crackling Geechie Wiley and had a listen.
They are both brilliant.
I’m still in love with Erin Harpe, the greatest street musician I’ve had the privilege to listen to. And I’m still in love with Geechie Wiley who remains a mystery; she leaves a spotty trail of recording, but is real. Now I have the privilege of beginning to understand just how rare that album in the story was.
Monday, June 12, 2006
An Inconvenient Truth
So I have a favor to ask everyone I know. And it may sound left wing liberal crazy. And to some of you that was a ringing endorsement of my favor. And to others it was quite the opposite. But I promise either way this is worth your while.
Go see Al Gore’s new documentary An Inconvenient Truth.
It’s science, and though I’d heard it all before… it was devastating. And hopeful. Seeing it all together the graphs, the charts, the photos, the brilliant Matt Groening animation... I felt a bit like Pandora when she opened that damn box. All hell and destruction burst loose. But remember small and shining at the bottom of the box was hope. We need that when we take on these insurmountable odds.
And Al Gore.
I’m as shocked as the next person. I didn’t like his political platform that he for president with. I didn’t like his choice of running mates. I didn’t like his views of school vouchers and censorship. I did like his views on the environment but I’m not sure he would have been a good president. Better than the one we have, absolutely. I don’t know about you but sometimes I feel that isn’t enough.
But Al Gore environmental crusader… well I’ve finally seen what he cares about. I’ve finally seen where his passion is. I’ve finally seen him reach people. And friends, I like what I see. I see a man raising alarms, not color levels. I see someone with a plan, who is ringing alarm bells not pushing panic buttons. I see a person who’s trying to make a difference against the odds. And he’s not asking for much. He’s out there trying to make things better.
I’d heard the facts before; I knew about the weather phenomenons, the ice caps melting the carbon dioxide levels rising, I’ve heard more than this movie covers. This is just a surprisingly powerful, funny, telling of it. It’s not perfect, it has flaws. I read a review that this is a 3 star movie about a 5 star PowerPoint presentation. That’s not far off. But it’s worth seeing.
So go see his movie and tell your friends about it. Talk about it. Do something about it.
Go see Al Gore’s new documentary An Inconvenient Truth.
It’s science, and though I’d heard it all before… it was devastating. And hopeful. Seeing it all together the graphs, the charts, the photos, the brilliant Matt Groening animation... I felt a bit like Pandora when she opened that damn box. All hell and destruction burst loose. But remember small and shining at the bottom of the box was hope. We need that when we take on these insurmountable odds.
And Al Gore.
I’m as shocked as the next person. I didn’t like his political platform that he for president with. I didn’t like his choice of running mates. I didn’t like his views of school vouchers and censorship. I did like his views on the environment but I’m not sure he would have been a good president. Better than the one we have, absolutely. I don’t know about you but sometimes I feel that isn’t enough.
But Al Gore environmental crusader… well I’ve finally seen what he cares about. I’ve finally seen where his passion is. I’ve finally seen him reach people. And friends, I like what I see. I see a man raising alarms, not color levels. I see someone with a plan, who is ringing alarm bells not pushing panic buttons. I see a person who’s trying to make a difference against the odds. And he’s not asking for much. He’s out there trying to make things better.
I’d heard the facts before; I knew about the weather phenomenons, the ice caps melting the carbon dioxide levels rising, I’ve heard more than this movie covers. This is just a surprisingly powerful, funny, telling of it. It’s not perfect, it has flaws. I read a review that this is a 3 star movie about a 5 star PowerPoint presentation. That’s not far off. But it’s worth seeing.
So go see his movie and tell your friends about it. Talk about it. Do something about it.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Happy Birthday Dad
It’s dad’s birthday today. I wrote my annual letter to my dad.
Dear Dad,
Well I tried to give your birthday away this year. I thought you’d like that. I thought you would appreciate the gesture. It keeps it close to us, the day, you, everything. Tried... I didn’t quite succeed but then again, switching Connor’s Birthday to June 6th on 6/6/06 might nor have been the best idea. Maybe next year. I’ll still take him to NYC as a birthday present in June.
Another reason to call it D-Day… Devil’s Day, Dad’s Day.
It was tougher than I thought this year as the anniversary rolled around. It’s been ten years. And I still miss things about you. And I’ve forgotten so much about you. I feel like now I remember the way you look more from photographs instead of memories. Chardy helps. He’s our last link to you. I guess we’re his last link you too. But enough of that. We both know that I love and miss you.
I hope you’re not too mad at us for the Day of the Dad. I know you would rather we were more supportive of mom about this but… I vowed that I would never let your death ruin my birthday again. I know she wants me to be there for her but… I’m not the one to do it. She should find someone else. One of her sisters because I’m not going to do it. I can’t. It’s been ten years, she should find someone else to hold her hand that day. I fought too hard to keep that mine, to keep it happy.
Plus that zombie movie kind of got to me. I wonder what you’d think of it. Forgive me not wanting you to come back that day. It’s just those zombies, they acted like you do in my dreams. It must be a common dream… shared by many who grieve. But it was scary to see it fleshed out in film. Disturbing and fascinating. Like all the best things right?
So what have I been up too? Oh the usual dead end career, art on the side although I’ve started calling myself an artist again. I’m an artist I’m just doing a little freelance reception on the side. Yeah I thought that was pretty funny.
I know, I’ll figure it out. It’s just a struggle. In the mean time I fight with myself about art and what I should be doing right now. I should be working on the book. I should be planning the trip to New York, I should be working on a large watercolor or finishing the pictures for Mom’s Mother’s Day present. I should be making a new picture for Louis’s birthday and Laura’s Birthday. I should be making a plan for me life.
Yet I’m happy. I’ve been pleased with my last projects, gifts for weddings and birthdays. Shadow boxes, with cut paper. The space one really made me pretty happy Zelda Zap Galactic Space Girl. Emily Hogan now owns that one. Sarah’s was a little more personal. Matt’s was a work of art. But I’m a little nervous about that one.
I don’t know why I’m telling you this. It will either amuse or appall you. Matt’s shadowbox, it’s a Hawaiian theme, things they will do on their honeymoon in Hawaii. It’s broken into 4 boxes, one of them hiking, one in a beach bar, one snorkeling (Did you ever snorkel? That’s good fun) and the last is a Luau with two hula girls dancing. So… when I drew the hula girls I was having trouble with their proportions so I drew them naked first, and anatomically correct and all and pasted on the hula skirts and tops and all of that but the glue I used wasn’t so great. So I’m convinced in time it will get brittle and break and all of their clothes with fall off leaving the naked girls! You know I only gave it to them because I didn’t think they’d like it in the first place. But I worked very hard to make it wonderful enough that they might fall in love with it. I could have used better glue but I didn’t… I know it’s wrong but I just think that’s funny.
I was at the Greek Festival this weekend. It was the same as it ever was. It was exactly the same. I smiled and ate and watched the dancing with a mix of nostalgia and resentment. I scanned the crowd for people I knew and hid my eyes when I thought I’d recognize them. I hid in plane sight and soaked in the ambience. I thought I should get a drink to really enjoy this. I thought of you.
Sarah has her masters now, Library Science; Emily’s a doctor like Pam. Jimmy is the same, good natured, yuppie, liberal. He’s still smart and sharp, loves kids and seems genuinely happy to see us. Pam has two boys, they are cute and she’s happy, her husband is sweet. Kathy is the same, exactly the same.
As for Beth, she has plans, is going to Chile, is finishing school, applying to graduate school. She’ll be an English Professor someday or she’ll be something else. You’ll be proud of her though.
Brian’s still searching for someone to complete him. He should try looking inside himself. I love my brother but he’s still just soul sick. I guess we all are. He just has it worse than the rest of us.
We saw Alison. Or rather Beth and Mom did. She’s doing well two kids and all that. She misses us as much as we miss her.
The Shea kids are huge. Connor is a reader, smart, goofy, sweet, wonderful. Erin is athletic, kind, saucy and fresh. Ryan is little miss sassafras. She is all attitude and charm. You’d love them. And Chardy sails on the same sea of confusion as Beth and me. Ships in search of something else. We’ve vowed to take care of each other when any of us make it big. And I don’t doubt it.
And I’m starting to think you are lucky you missed the series. It really isn’t same now that they won. The Yankee rivalry doesn’t even feel the same to me. I wouldn’t trade those seven games for the world… that’s how you should fight against the Yankees. That will be the pinnacle of that rivalry for me. But I now recognize that it was the end of an era and nothing will be the same after that. And that’s good and bad. Long suffering led to poetry in our writing, sorrow let to dark humor, my favorite kind.
I love you.
I never believed it would be ten years since I’ve seen your smile, heard your voice, felt your touch. I know it would come I knew things would be okay. I knew I would be okay but I never believed 10 years would pass so quickly. You are so much a part of me. You’ll always be such a part of me. Thank goodness for that.
I’ll make you proud. I promise.
Love,
Kate
Dear Dad,
Well I tried to give your birthday away this year. I thought you’d like that. I thought you would appreciate the gesture. It keeps it close to us, the day, you, everything. Tried... I didn’t quite succeed but then again, switching Connor’s Birthday to June 6th on 6/6/06 might nor have been the best idea. Maybe next year. I’ll still take him to NYC as a birthday present in June.
Another reason to call it D-Day… Devil’s Day, Dad’s Day.
It was tougher than I thought this year as the anniversary rolled around. It’s been ten years. And I still miss things about you. And I’ve forgotten so much about you. I feel like now I remember the way you look more from photographs instead of memories. Chardy helps. He’s our last link to you. I guess we’re his last link you too. But enough of that. We both know that I love and miss you.
I hope you’re not too mad at us for the Day of the Dad. I know you would rather we were more supportive of mom about this but… I vowed that I would never let your death ruin my birthday again. I know she wants me to be there for her but… I’m not the one to do it. She should find someone else. One of her sisters because I’m not going to do it. I can’t. It’s been ten years, she should find someone else to hold her hand that day. I fought too hard to keep that mine, to keep it happy.
Plus that zombie movie kind of got to me. I wonder what you’d think of it. Forgive me not wanting you to come back that day. It’s just those zombies, they acted like you do in my dreams. It must be a common dream… shared by many who grieve. But it was scary to see it fleshed out in film. Disturbing and fascinating. Like all the best things right?
So what have I been up too? Oh the usual dead end career, art on the side although I’ve started calling myself an artist again. I’m an artist I’m just doing a little freelance reception on the side. Yeah I thought that was pretty funny.
I know, I’ll figure it out. It’s just a struggle. In the mean time I fight with myself about art and what I should be doing right now. I should be working on the book. I should be planning the trip to New York, I should be working on a large watercolor or finishing the pictures for Mom’s Mother’s Day present. I should be making a new picture for Louis’s birthday and Laura’s Birthday. I should be making a plan for me life.
Yet I’m happy. I’ve been pleased with my last projects, gifts for weddings and birthdays. Shadow boxes, with cut paper. The space one really made me pretty happy Zelda Zap Galactic Space Girl. Emily Hogan now owns that one. Sarah’s was a little more personal. Matt’s was a work of art. But I’m a little nervous about that one.
I don’t know why I’m telling you this. It will either amuse or appall you. Matt’s shadowbox, it’s a Hawaiian theme, things they will do on their honeymoon in Hawaii. It’s broken into 4 boxes, one of them hiking, one in a beach bar, one snorkeling (Did you ever snorkel? That’s good fun) and the last is a Luau with two hula girls dancing. So… when I drew the hula girls I was having trouble with their proportions so I drew them naked first, and anatomically correct and all and pasted on the hula skirts and tops and all of that but the glue I used wasn’t so great. So I’m convinced in time it will get brittle and break and all of their clothes with fall off leaving the naked girls! You know I only gave it to them because I didn’t think they’d like it in the first place. But I worked very hard to make it wonderful enough that they might fall in love with it. I could have used better glue but I didn’t… I know it’s wrong but I just think that’s funny.
I was at the Greek Festival this weekend. It was the same as it ever was. It was exactly the same. I smiled and ate and watched the dancing with a mix of nostalgia and resentment. I scanned the crowd for people I knew and hid my eyes when I thought I’d recognize them. I hid in plane sight and soaked in the ambience. I thought I should get a drink to really enjoy this. I thought of you.
Sarah has her masters now, Library Science; Emily’s a doctor like Pam. Jimmy is the same, good natured, yuppie, liberal. He’s still smart and sharp, loves kids and seems genuinely happy to see us. Pam has two boys, they are cute and she’s happy, her husband is sweet. Kathy is the same, exactly the same.
As for Beth, she has plans, is going to Chile, is finishing school, applying to graduate school. She’ll be an English Professor someday or she’ll be something else. You’ll be proud of her though.
Brian’s still searching for someone to complete him. He should try looking inside himself. I love my brother but he’s still just soul sick. I guess we all are. He just has it worse than the rest of us.
We saw Alison. Or rather Beth and Mom did. She’s doing well two kids and all that. She misses us as much as we miss her.
The Shea kids are huge. Connor is a reader, smart, goofy, sweet, wonderful. Erin is athletic, kind, saucy and fresh. Ryan is little miss sassafras. She is all attitude and charm. You’d love them. And Chardy sails on the same sea of confusion as Beth and me. Ships in search of something else. We’ve vowed to take care of each other when any of us make it big. And I don’t doubt it.
And I’m starting to think you are lucky you missed the series. It really isn’t same now that they won. The Yankee rivalry doesn’t even feel the same to me. I wouldn’t trade those seven games for the world… that’s how you should fight against the Yankees. That will be the pinnacle of that rivalry for me. But I now recognize that it was the end of an era and nothing will be the same after that. And that’s good and bad. Long suffering led to poetry in our writing, sorrow let to dark humor, my favorite kind.
I love you.
I never believed it would be ten years since I’ve seen your smile, heard your voice, felt your touch. I know it would come I knew things would be okay. I knew I would be okay but I never believed 10 years would pass so quickly. You are so much a part of me. You’ll always be such a part of me. Thank goodness for that.
I’ll make you proud. I promise.
Love,
Kate
Saturday, May 06, 2006
They Came Back
Well dad didn’t come back. And I’m a little relieved.
Zombie films are one of my favorite genres of films because they scare me. Zombies scare me. Zombies and the church. But “They Came Back” a film that was eerie, without gore... that got me. And I was only half kidding when I talked about being on Zombie watch. Part of me expected him to come back and in a way someone did come back.
It was Allison. Brian’s ex-girlfriend, the one he should have married, the one he was going to marry, the one who slipped away. I haven’t seen her in maybe 8 or 9 or years. But I didn’t see her; I didn’t hear about her voice, I didn’t hear about her new life, her kids. Mom and Beth did. And I am a little sad that I didn’t see her. They tell me she was the same. When she and Brian broke up, that was it. I never saw her again. I never spoke to her again. She was just gone. Beth was the one who got in contact with her. And Brian got upset. But he doesn’t get as great as his hurt is, it was his choice, he said goodbye and we never did. She was just gone. And though he loves her more, we love her too. So on the day of Zombie watch, someone did come back... it just wasn’t who we were expecting.
Memories flooded me and I remembered Allison.
Allison who taught me so much, the older sister I always wanted. She taught me the tone of voice to use with when arguing for what you want with a smile. It’s especially useful when arguing with customer service. She was so different than us and so wonderful. I remember the summer of Jane. I remember going to get treats. When I would visit Brian in San Diego he would work and be tired, and Allison would hang out and do things with me. She showed me that you didn’t have to play by the rules. Rules are meant to be stretched, pushed and broken. She taught me that feminism is feminine, that girl power comes in many forms and that as different as people are admiration can be mutual. She brought an element into our lives that we never had. And I hope we did the same. She was special and from what I hear she still is.
Enough love letters to my former sister. It’s bringing me down.
Today is the day of my former youngest cousin’s college graduation. He used to me my youngest cousin. For years he was my youngest cousin. Until about 11 years ago. Since my 30th birthday Beth and I have reconnected with Steve. We went out on Christmas together, we plan on hanging out at our cousin Matt’s wedding. It’s nice. Steve and his brother Chris were like little brothers to me growing up. And of all of my cousins who I’ve lost touch with, they are the ones that I felt the loss strongest. But the reconnection has been great. And Steve is such a nice person, he’s a good egg.
So I’m looking forward to seeing him.
Zombie films are one of my favorite genres of films because they scare me. Zombies scare me. Zombies and the church. But “They Came Back” a film that was eerie, without gore... that got me. And I was only half kidding when I talked about being on Zombie watch. Part of me expected him to come back and in a way someone did come back.
It was Allison. Brian’s ex-girlfriend, the one he should have married, the one he was going to marry, the one who slipped away. I haven’t seen her in maybe 8 or 9 or years. But I didn’t see her; I didn’t hear about her voice, I didn’t hear about her new life, her kids. Mom and Beth did. And I am a little sad that I didn’t see her. They tell me she was the same. When she and Brian broke up, that was it. I never saw her again. I never spoke to her again. She was just gone. Beth was the one who got in contact with her. And Brian got upset. But he doesn’t get as great as his hurt is, it was his choice, he said goodbye and we never did. She was just gone. And though he loves her more, we love her too. So on the day of Zombie watch, someone did come back... it just wasn’t who we were expecting.
Memories flooded me and I remembered Allison.
Allison who taught me so much, the older sister I always wanted. She taught me the tone of voice to use with when arguing for what you want with a smile. It’s especially useful when arguing with customer service. She was so different than us and so wonderful. I remember the summer of Jane. I remember going to get treats. When I would visit Brian in San Diego he would work and be tired, and Allison would hang out and do things with me. She showed me that you didn’t have to play by the rules. Rules are meant to be stretched, pushed and broken. She taught me that feminism is feminine, that girl power comes in many forms and that as different as people are admiration can be mutual. She brought an element into our lives that we never had. And I hope we did the same. She was special and from what I hear she still is.
Enough love letters to my former sister. It’s bringing me down.
Today is the day of my former youngest cousin’s college graduation. He used to me my youngest cousin. For years he was my youngest cousin. Until about 11 years ago. Since my 30th birthday Beth and I have reconnected with Steve. We went out on Christmas together, we plan on hanging out at our cousin Matt’s wedding. It’s nice. Steve and his brother Chris were like little brothers to me growing up. And of all of my cousins who I’ve lost touch with, they are the ones that I felt the loss strongest. But the reconnection has been great. And Steve is such a nice person, he’s a good egg.
So I’m looking forward to seeing him.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
DAY OF THE DAD!
I found my new favorite genre of Zombie Movies. For a while it was fast moving light fearing Zombies ala Rage Monkeys of 28 Days Later. But now its non flesh eating French eerie zombies of doom!
Okay on a whim Beth and I rented “They Came Back”. A 2004 French movie about the undead. And it crept us out big time. We both liked the some what silly English title of the film and the premise that one day for about 2 hours the recent dead (within 10 years) came back to life clean and in good health. The people tried to reintegrate them into society but something was wrong.
The thing was, and this was the big creep factor for me. I’ve had a lot of dreams about my dad since he died (ten years ago this Friday) and he’s always been Dad in my dreams but a little off. I always know he’s dead, and he’s always strangely still, quiet and just off. And by off I mean in the exact way the people in this film are off. The dead, the undead. Beth also plagued by these dreams of my father made the same remark. In our dreams he acts like they did. And it scared us, it felt too true. We loved it.
So put it on your list if you haven’t seen it. It’s a slow pace and in French but worth it.
Now all I can do is sit here thinking about how my dad died ten years ago tomorrow morning. I just have to make it through tomorrow morning and I’ll be safe. I don’t want to here about my dad coming back from the dead tomorrow. I’ve had too many of those dreams. Beth and I dub tomorrow:
DAY OF THE DAD!!!
Or D- Day
D-Day, June 6th, the Allied invasion of Normandy
D-Day, June 6th my dad’s birthday
D-Day, Dad’s Day, Father’s Day, second Sunday in June
D-Day, Death Day, April 28, the day my dad died
Day of the Dead, November 1st. Celebration of those who have died.
Day of the Dad = Any and all of these days.
If I can make it through tomorrow I’ll be safe. If not, well have you met my dad? He’s a zombie but… I still love him, even if he creeps me out a little. Don’t worry he won't eat your flesh… we think.
Okay on a whim Beth and I rented “They Came Back”. A 2004 French movie about the undead. And it crept us out big time. We both liked the some what silly English title of the film and the premise that one day for about 2 hours the recent dead (within 10 years) came back to life clean and in good health. The people tried to reintegrate them into society but something was wrong.
The thing was, and this was the big creep factor for me. I’ve had a lot of dreams about my dad since he died (ten years ago this Friday) and he’s always been Dad in my dreams but a little off. I always know he’s dead, and he’s always strangely still, quiet and just off. And by off I mean in the exact way the people in this film are off. The dead, the undead. Beth also plagued by these dreams of my father made the same remark. In our dreams he acts like they did. And it scared us, it felt too true. We loved it.
So put it on your list if you haven’t seen it. It’s a slow pace and in French but worth it.
Now all I can do is sit here thinking about how my dad died ten years ago tomorrow morning. I just have to make it through tomorrow morning and I’ll be safe. I don’t want to here about my dad coming back from the dead tomorrow. I’ve had too many of those dreams. Beth and I dub tomorrow:
DAY OF THE DAD!!!
Or D- Day
D-Day, June 6th, the Allied invasion of Normandy
D-Day, June 6th my dad’s birthday
D-Day, Dad’s Day, Father’s Day, second Sunday in June
D-Day, Death Day, April 28, the day my dad died
Day of the Dead, November 1st. Celebration of those who have died.
Day of the Dad = Any and all of these days.
If I can make it through tomorrow I’ll be safe. If not, well have you met my dad? He’s a zombie but… I still love him, even if he creeps me out a little. Don’t worry he won't eat your flesh… we think.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Fran made me do it.
Fran tagged me for this meme:
4 Jobs in my Life
1. Popcorn Monkey
2. Bead clerk/artist/instructor
3. Field Manager for a global marketing research company.
3. Admin.
4 Films I could see a million times
1. Jaws
2. A Room with a View
3. Joe Versus the Volcano
4. Any Wes Anderson or Whit Stilman film
4 Places I lived at
1. Massachuesetts
2. No where else
3. Still no where else
4. My imagination?
4 TV Series I really like to watch
1. The Simpsons
2. LOST
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. The Office
Those are my current favorites, but past series off the air include
1. Northern Exposure
2. Freaks and Geeks
3. My So Called Life
4. Spaced
4 Places I've spent my Holidays
1. Mexico
2. Nevada
3. California
4. Hawaii
4 Favourite Foods
1. Cheese
2. Apple pie
3. Fried clams
4. Hawaii Burgers from Islands
4 Websites I visit every day
1. http://www.google.com
2. http://www.yahoo.com
3. http://www.bostonworks.com
4. http:www.craigslist.com
4 Places I’d love to be right now (instead of *here*)
1. Anywhere (I'm at work)
2. Hawaii
3. Thailand
4. Rio
People who should do this
1. Whoever would like to
4 Jobs in my Life
1. Popcorn Monkey
2. Bead clerk/artist/instructor
3. Field Manager for a global marketing research company.
3. Admin.
4 Films I could see a million times
1. Jaws
2. A Room with a View
3. Joe Versus the Volcano
4. Any Wes Anderson or Whit Stilman film
4 Places I lived at
1. Massachuesetts
2. No where else
3. Still no where else
4. My imagination?
4 TV Series I really like to watch
1. The Simpsons
2. LOST
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. The Office
Those are my current favorites, but past series off the air include
1. Northern Exposure
2. Freaks and Geeks
3. My So Called Life
4. Spaced
4 Places I've spent my Holidays
1. Mexico
2. Nevada
3. California
4. Hawaii
4 Favourite Foods
1. Cheese
2. Apple pie
3. Fried clams
4. Hawaii Burgers from Islands
4 Websites I visit every day
1. http://www.google.com
2. http://www.yahoo.com
3. http://www.bostonworks.com
4. http:www.craigslist.com
4 Places I’d love to be right now (instead of *here*)
1. Anywhere (I'm at work)
2. Hawaii
3. Thailand
4. Rio
People who should do this
1. Whoever would like to
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas to you...
It's my favorite moment of the year. A moment so sweet, so simple so filled with potential. About to be interrupted. But the moment is even better when shared.
I love to wake up early Christmas morning, when all the word is asleep, turn on the lights of the tree and sit contemplating Christmas thoughts like peace on earth and good will towards man. I like to think about the people I know and love all snug in their beds, dreaming of sugarplums. I like to thing of people whose dreams my come true today when gifts of unbridled generosity may thrill them.
I like to think about Christmas morning and look at the piles of presents and wonder if any of my carefully wrapped presents will thrill my family. I think about my brother in California and hope he has merry Christmas. And I like to think about you too.
There is such sweet serenity at this moment.
Somewhere children are prowling in the dark, waiting for moment when Christmas begins. Somewhere weary parents rest, exhausted but happy with their haul of gifts. Somewhere someone sits thinking about Christmas watching the light of tree in the darkness.
One upon a time my sister and I both did this. We would sit and quietly contemplate how very lucky we were. Thinking to ourselves indeed it is a wonderful life. But sleep and good sense gradually pulled her away form this early morning ritual. And every year that same good sense tightens the covers around me on Christmas morning. But somehow I drag myself up and soon am basking in glorious tranquility of the morning while the rest of the world slumbers. But the world is my oyster right now, and it's easy for me to believe in the spirit of Christmas.
Wishing you all the best this Christmas.
I love to wake up early Christmas morning, when all the word is asleep, turn on the lights of the tree and sit contemplating Christmas thoughts like peace on earth and good will towards man. I like to think about the people I know and love all snug in their beds, dreaming of sugarplums. I like to thing of people whose dreams my come true today when gifts of unbridled generosity may thrill them.
I like to think about Christmas morning and look at the piles of presents and wonder if any of my carefully wrapped presents will thrill my family. I think about my brother in California and hope he has merry Christmas. And I like to think about you too.
There is such sweet serenity at this moment.
Somewhere children are prowling in the dark, waiting for moment when Christmas begins. Somewhere weary parents rest, exhausted but happy with their haul of gifts. Somewhere someone sits thinking about Christmas watching the light of tree in the darkness.
One upon a time my sister and I both did this. We would sit and quietly contemplate how very lucky we were. Thinking to ourselves indeed it is a wonderful life. But sleep and good sense gradually pulled her away form this early morning ritual. And every year that same good sense tightens the covers around me on Christmas morning. But somehow I drag myself up and soon am basking in glorious tranquility of the morning while the rest of the world slumbers. But the world is my oyster right now, and it's easy for me to believe in the spirit of Christmas.
Wishing you all the best this Christmas.
Monday, November 28, 2005
I'm thankful it's over...
I might have lost my temper over Thanksgiving. I shouldn’t say “might have” as if there is a possibility that I didn’t lose my temper. I did lose my temper over Thanksgiving. I lost it in that screaming and swearing at my grandfather kind of way. Politics at the dinner table… never a good idea yet a family tradition.
And that’s fine. Everybody speaks and it’s a political round table. Except this table wasn’t round. And some how out numbered 3 to 2 the men at the table decided their opinions were more valuable than ours. To the point that anytime we would start to speak they would talk over us. Will would talk Grandpa would talk, and we would listen and when they stopped talking I would start to speak and one of them would start talking right over me, as if I wasn’t speaking, as if I wasn’t there.
And it started the moment I came into the room to greet Grandpa. I started to say how he would be proud I was a good daughter today, I shoveled out Mom’s driveway, making it the first driveway to be cleared on her block. I started to tell him this, I was a sentence and a half in when he turned and started talking to Will as if I wasn’t there.
It had actually been a cute anecdote about while I was shoveling a neighbor came out and wished me a happy Thanksgiving. He told me it was nice weather for shoveling. To which I responded “It’s perfect weather for shoveling, I tried it in the summer but it didn’t work nearly as well”.
But my grandfather wasn’t interested in hearing from me, he wanted to talk to will. I took his coat and walked away a little irritated.
Dinner was good. I was helping in the kitchen leading up to dinner and that suited me fine. But afterward is when the political talks began. Will and Grandpa formed their own little “boys club” and would not let anyone get a word in edgewise. Mom and Beth would yell breaking into the fray but I would wait for the pauses to ad my two cents. And every time Grandpa or Will would talk right over me. I was getting frustrated and punctuate my anger by getting up and stomping off to get something or to say “Forget it I’m done”. It went on for about 40 minutes or so like this.
By now the topic was protecting the environment. Beth was saying that the government needs to be ones leading the incentives for going green. But they argued it had to be an individual effort. When Beth was through speaking I offered the example of the Worcester Trash Recycling Program. While most people in Worcester wouldn’t recycle on their own, once they had no choice but to try it, they fell into the habit of separating cans, bottles, and paper form their trash. While the individual efforts hadn’t produced great results, when given a program, they became one of the leaders of recycling in the state.
However I couldn’t that out. At least not in a civil tone. Because once I started speaking they started talking over me. And I blew up. I pushed away form the table and said I was done that it was fucking rude to talk over me and I wasn’t going to take it any more. I screamed it, I swore at my 90 year old grandfather, who I love. I yelled that “maybe if I yell loud enough you can hear me”. I howled my anger.
Bad enough that they were being rude, but that is was so damn sexist. The two of them wouldn’t listen to a damn word any of us females had to say. We females, the founders of the feast, the ones who make this event happen every year. Intelligent women, who have real, valid points being ignored, talked over and talked down to. Why because we don’t have that small faulty Y chromosome. Well thank you very much but no.
I stormed into the kitchen and started violently cleaning up the leftovers. I was angry with myself for losing my temper like that but never in my life has anyone treated my opinions so poorly, so rudely. And I’m not in the habit of lying down and taking that from anyone. let alone my family. That’s not how I was raised. It took me about a half hour to calm down to join the table again. For about 15 minutes they would pause when I spoke. I threw in a few jabs “apologizing” for speaking, interrupting their “boys club”. But eventually they ignored all three of us women, even if we yelled. It was very frustrating.
I thought Mum would be mad, after all I did swear at her father but she and Beth both expressed sympathy. Although neither one of them felt that they could get into the fight, I thrown myself into, they both felt I was in my rights to do what I did. Mum said they were acting like assholes. Beth said they were sexist jerks who hate women.
The rest of thanksgiving was uneventful. Thank goodness.
And that’s fine. Everybody speaks and it’s a political round table. Except this table wasn’t round. And some how out numbered 3 to 2 the men at the table decided their opinions were more valuable than ours. To the point that anytime we would start to speak they would talk over us. Will would talk Grandpa would talk, and we would listen and when they stopped talking I would start to speak and one of them would start talking right over me, as if I wasn’t speaking, as if I wasn’t there.
And it started the moment I came into the room to greet Grandpa. I started to say how he would be proud I was a good daughter today, I shoveled out Mom’s driveway, making it the first driveway to be cleared on her block. I started to tell him this, I was a sentence and a half in when he turned and started talking to Will as if I wasn’t there.
It had actually been a cute anecdote about while I was shoveling a neighbor came out and wished me a happy Thanksgiving. He told me it was nice weather for shoveling. To which I responded “It’s perfect weather for shoveling, I tried it in the summer but it didn’t work nearly as well”.
But my grandfather wasn’t interested in hearing from me, he wanted to talk to will. I took his coat and walked away a little irritated.
Dinner was good. I was helping in the kitchen leading up to dinner and that suited me fine. But afterward is when the political talks began. Will and Grandpa formed their own little “boys club” and would not let anyone get a word in edgewise. Mom and Beth would yell breaking into the fray but I would wait for the pauses to ad my two cents. And every time Grandpa or Will would talk right over me. I was getting frustrated and punctuate my anger by getting up and stomping off to get something or to say “Forget it I’m done”. It went on for about 40 minutes or so like this.
By now the topic was protecting the environment. Beth was saying that the government needs to be ones leading the incentives for going green. But they argued it had to be an individual effort. When Beth was through speaking I offered the example of the Worcester Trash Recycling Program. While most people in Worcester wouldn’t recycle on their own, once they had no choice but to try it, they fell into the habit of separating cans, bottles, and paper form their trash. While the individual efforts hadn’t produced great results, when given a program, they became one of the leaders of recycling in the state.
However I couldn’t that out. At least not in a civil tone. Because once I started speaking they started talking over me. And I blew up. I pushed away form the table and said I was done that it was fucking rude to talk over me and I wasn’t going to take it any more. I screamed it, I swore at my 90 year old grandfather, who I love. I yelled that “maybe if I yell loud enough you can hear me”. I howled my anger.
Bad enough that they were being rude, but that is was so damn sexist. The two of them wouldn’t listen to a damn word any of us females had to say. We females, the founders of the feast, the ones who make this event happen every year. Intelligent women, who have real, valid points being ignored, talked over and talked down to. Why because we don’t have that small faulty Y chromosome. Well thank you very much but no.
I stormed into the kitchen and started violently cleaning up the leftovers. I was angry with myself for losing my temper like that but never in my life has anyone treated my opinions so poorly, so rudely. And I’m not in the habit of lying down and taking that from anyone. let alone my family. That’s not how I was raised. It took me about a half hour to calm down to join the table again. For about 15 minutes they would pause when I spoke. I threw in a few jabs “apologizing” for speaking, interrupting their “boys club”. But eventually they ignored all three of us women, even if we yelled. It was very frustrating.
I thought Mum would be mad, after all I did swear at her father but she and Beth both expressed sympathy. Although neither one of them felt that they could get into the fight, I thrown myself into, they both felt I was in my rights to do what I did. Mum said they were acting like assholes. Beth said they were sexist jerks who hate women.
The rest of thanksgiving was uneventful. Thank goodness.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Hadley made me do it...
Hadley, being the sweet wonderful, fabulous person she is asked me to write a little something to let you know I'm alive.
I'm alive and kicking just not kicking to hard for fear of breaking something.
Brian, Beth and I are dressing as members of Team Zissou for Halloween. We have these great warm up suits, Beth made us fabulous hats. I've made patches, buiness cards and all sorts of stuff. I'm working on some critters, a blowpop fish, a sunset sea pony... It's all exciting,
I have a party to go to and all sorts of things planned.
I randomly called my old pal Lee last night which was odd of me to do. And I relay the nuances of that exchange another time.
Still no modem.
Still miss you all.
Still looking for excuses to buuy wigs.
I love HALLOWEEN!!!
I'm alive and kicking just not kicking to hard for fear of breaking something.
Brian, Beth and I are dressing as members of Team Zissou for Halloween. We have these great warm up suits, Beth made us fabulous hats. I've made patches, buiness cards and all sorts of stuff. I'm working on some critters, a blowpop fish, a sunset sea pony... It's all exciting,
I have a party to go to and all sorts of things planned.
I randomly called my old pal Lee last night which was odd of me to do. And I relay the nuances of that exchange another time.
Still no modem.
Still miss you all.
Still looking for excuses to buuy wigs.
I love HALLOWEEN!!!
Friday, August 19, 2005
Oh hell!
So I finally get a chance to blog and the sever goes down.
Que sera, sera!
I think my modem or phone line is having issues at home. I can’t connect.
I can’t connect. Yup I think that just about sums it up for me lately I can’t connect. Not at work or anywhere else... I won’t bore you with the details about work. Suffice to say, I’m not happy there. Every minute of every day is spent counting down when I can leave. Seconds become an eternity, and thoughts of purgatory fill me. Have I died? Is this the blank unholy torture of the limbo between heaven and hell?
The up side is when I leave work I don’t really think about it. I block it out most of the time.
I miss blogging. I miss reading about you.
I want to know how Marcie’s party went. I went to a party that night too but it wasn’t much fun. I was thinking about her party and how I’d rather be there.
I miss Fran and Hillary with their insightful humor and charm.
And Hadley I should just call because I care and I want to wish well. We both live in Boston!
I’ll start calling people to check on them. It’s old fashioned. But so am I. Purgatory went the way of the dinosaur after Vatican II. And you can thank Vatican II for the Catholic ideas of birthcontrol, sex, and bunch of other things that I think they screwed up on. Why can’t I just drop it?
Que sera, sera!
I think my modem or phone line is having issues at home. I can’t connect.
I can’t connect. Yup I think that just about sums it up for me lately I can’t connect. Not at work or anywhere else... I won’t bore you with the details about work. Suffice to say, I’m not happy there. Every minute of every day is spent counting down when I can leave. Seconds become an eternity, and thoughts of purgatory fill me. Have I died? Is this the blank unholy torture of the limbo between heaven and hell?
The up side is when I leave work I don’t really think about it. I block it out most of the time.
I miss blogging. I miss reading about you.
I want to know how Marcie’s party went. I went to a party that night too but it wasn’t much fun. I was thinking about her party and how I’d rather be there.
I miss Fran and Hillary with their insightful humor and charm.
And Hadley I should just call because I care and I want to wish well. We both live in Boston!
I’ll start calling people to check on them. It’s old fashioned. But so am I. Purgatory went the way of the dinosaur after Vatican II. And you can thank Vatican II for the Catholic ideas of birthcontrol, sex, and bunch of other things that I think they screwed up on. Why can’t I just drop it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)